


Codestuck

by TopHatBigPencil



Category: Homestuck
Genre: ADVENTURE!, Character Study, Drama, F/F, F/M, M/M, Romance will make a special guest appearance, constant references to other media, hacking?, inspired by Code Lyoko, more an adventure story than romance, my town now, space science?, space travel?, stupid fun, teen drama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2019-12-18 11:37:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 43,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18249059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TopHatBigPencil/pseuds/TopHatBigPencil
Summary: Kid's guardians when on a trip in their favorite rocket ship~ and...just disappeared. Kids are stuck in a dorm trying to live their teenage life. Except aliens decide to crash land into their party bringing ghosts and time shenanigans!





	1. what you don't know can't--

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 6.6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we Go!

 

“Dave! Dave! Daaaave!” Roxy’s light pink-dyed hair bounced around her headset as she knocked on her cousin’s dorm door for five seconds straight. It wasn’t her relative who opened the door, but his roomate John Egbert. His glasses were already in place over his sky-blue eyes. He was ready for the day in his classic ghostbuster t-shirt and blue jeans, minus the toothpaste foam still clinging to his mouth...along with his toothbrush.

He mumbled something that might’ve been translated to; “What in the hell?” if she cared enough to decipher toothpaste dialect, but instead she shoved right past him and toward Dave’s bed. John let out some more vague protests but he closed the door behind her anyway. She was definitely breaking rules by being in the boy’s dormitory, but even he wasn’t so much of a jerk that he would let her get into trouble.

Roxy didn’t let any of that stop her in her mission to save her other brother/cousin/best friend, by forcing Dave to the wakeful world. Needless to say that the blond getting manhandled beneath her didn’t appreciate the shaking.

“John I told you, five more...” his words became a mumbled mess as he lazily swatted his hands at Roxy and then put said arms over his face. Well Roxy wasn’t going to have any of that! In one swift movement she pulled his blanket and pillow away from him. This left the young 16-year old in only his, (thankfully) sleeping shirt with a shitty drawn jpeg character and heart-print boxers he swore he wore for ironic purposes.

Roxy threw both the pillow and blanket behind her not caring where they landed, and they actually flew right past John. He merely blinked at the slight breeze before heading back into the bathroom to check if his hair was messed up; It was, and now he had to spend another five minutes redoing his look. The only other time John could think of that Roxy had messed up his hair without meaning to was when he'd lost a bet and wore one of her cat-eared headsets. Dave never stopped taking selfies with him in the background.

“Roxyyy,” both he and Dave complained at the same time since the latter finally realized it wasn’t his roommate who decided to let a draft into the room again.

Instead of offering an apology Roxy immediately began to pull her cousin into a sitting position. “Come on you weren’t doing nothing--anything and I have an emergency on my hands!” She immediately left him to randomly open drawers on his side of the room. It took no time at all for her to appearify his clothes for the day.

Dave groaned in protest again as he rubbed his bleach-blond hair and face to have some stimulation for the ungodly hour. “It’s 6:40 in the morning you nosy broad. You know i protect my sleep time like a crow protects his precious stash of cheetos. What kind of emergency--?” Dave stopped short on account of his shirt and black jeans hitting his face.

“It’s Dirk.” The hue in her sharp pink eyes, because no one in Dave’s family could be normal, shone with what looked like unshed tears or maybe they were just bloodshot. “I stayed up with him all last night because he promised this was the last time he would search for...for them, right, but, but ugh he can’t know.”

Dave blinked. “Okay that is starting to sound serious. What can’t my cool bro know? I thought you guys shared everything. From stupid get-along-sweaters to secrets on to how to get around campus like real-life ninja hackers. What even gives with that? It’s not fair that you’ve never been caught and can make the teacher’s Power Point play that Rainbow cat pop tart game on loop,” he busied himself with getting dressed as he rambled on, but the anxious look on her face only disappeared for a second before she was back to kneading at her hot-pink scarf.

It wasn’t even cold outside, she wore it for fashion but with a really short skirt. Dave will never understand girls forever and ever, amen.

“Oh shit, you finally decided to get a new gossip girl to share secrets with aka me. Are we gonna be making some fine wine out of all the grapevine whispers trickling from the mouths of our fellow peers who should really lay off the grapes and switch to apples instead.” he finally put on his jeans, but still had to go to the bathroom so the dropping of this tangent was imminent. And yet, he’d run into his favorite topic so leaving the conversation to sate his earthly urgencies was going to be difficult.

“Okay, okay. Maybe just talk to Hal about it since he knew seconds after I did. But I really need you to be zipperlipped about the whole thing until I can get some confinement--confirmation okay?” She stood up and pointed at John who was already grabbing his backpack. “That means you too!”

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about,” he said and looked like he was about to ask questions but Roxy interrupted.

“Perfect. I gotta go research that now so I’ll be missing classes but Dirk can’t so I need you two to help him get to them while I’m at bay--I mean away,” she giggled at her flub and quickly fluffed her scarf. “Consider this payback for when you guys wanted to stay here to play that new game of Ghostbusters and I covered for you.”  
“That game really sucked,” Dave muttered.

John mocked a salute and said “Aye, aye, captain.”

Roxy mocked the salute right back and clicked her heels. “I’m counting on you boys to keep my second in command in tip top shape!” As she lowered her hand it connected to the light-switch on the wall, plummeting the room into darkness seeing as not even the sun was up yet. They heard her giggle before the open and closing click of the door. John sighed as he turned the lights on again and tossed Dave his bedding.

“I’ll meet you at Dirks as soon as I get us something to eat. He’s going to want some coffee right?”

Dave nodded and reached for his sunglasses. Just because the brightass light of their dorm room wasn’t yet able to melt his delicate eyeballs into his skull didn’t mean he was willing to risk it any longer. “AJ for me dude.”  
“Yeah, yeah. I know the drill. See you in five,” he said and left their room.

“The show must go on.” It was Dave’s turn to sigh as he stood and didn’t bother to make his bed but headed straight for the bathroom to contemplate his next step. He decided he didn’t want to find Dirk in another mess of all-nighters again without at least some context so he washed his hands and checked his iphone for Hal.

Unsurprisingly, his Pesterchum app was already open. It was a fun project, according to Roxy, that she and Dirk worked on to share with the rest of their friends. Dave’s other friend Jade, had brought up the issue of all their private texts being monitored by the school since the teachers gave them their phones and computers in the first place. It’s no wonder 90% of the students get caught doing something against the rules every other day.  
Not with Pesterchum at least.

autonomicResponder [AR] began trolling  turntechGodhead [TG]  
  
AR: For the record, I knew .5 seconds after Roxy knew, not seconds after.  
TG: even point five seconds are going to feel longer in a genius hackers brain hal  
TG: so actually  
TG: what the fuck??  
TG: and also  
TG: have you been hacking into my tech again  
TG: we had an agreement dude  
TG: no eavesdropping in on hollywood-level djs man  
TG: that’s paparazzi bs right there  
AR: Of course not. I am an entity of my word.  
AR: Roxy had her headset on.  
TG: oh  
AR: Dirk did another all-nighter looking for our guardians.  
TG: this the opposite of things i dont know  
TG: but roxy said she made him promise he wasnt going to do it anymore  
TG: is that true or did he cross his fingers behind his back finding yet another loophole into roxy’s devious plans of making sure the dude doesnt die an early death from lack of sleep  
AR: Unfortunately for our too-cool-for-sleep relative, this time, her schemes worked.  
TG: oh my god she made him a man of his word  
TG: i can hear the church bells ringing now  
TG: roxy wiping a single dramatic tear from her eye as she hands Dirk over to a forever marriage to being healthy  
TG: no one can save him now from the chains of commitment to a better newer life  
AR: Unless he has a side chick with the name of “Finding exactly what he was looking for.”  
TG: oh shit  
AR: Exactly.  
TG: but   
TG: its been three years  
AR: That is true. It is very likely we will find nothing but their corpses. There is only so long a human being can survive in space with a limited amount of resources and air. Especially when that mission was only for one year.  
TG: wait roxy said nothing was confirmed  
AR: That is also true.  
AR: The only thing she found was a very weak signal of an approaching spacecraft. But it is a recognizable signal; of the Betty Crocker and SN Enterprises variety  
TG: shit fuck  
AR: Exactly.  
AR: This is why Dirk cannot know.  
TG: yeah i hear you  
TG: one tip off that there is a potential lady in the crowd at his matrimonial wedding to a healthy life and she wont even need to object  
TG: he just has to know shes in the general vicinity and the wedding is off  
TG: goddamn they havent even cut the cake  
TG: there will be disappointed party goers everywhere some so mad they will sue roxy for all she has but since she is a ninja wizard master of stealth and they will never catch her  
TG: his relationship is in rocky waters before it ever began we need a miracle worker to keep him distracted and hopefully in the same vicinity as roxy’s arranged marriage for her hopefully forever blind son  
TG: a seeing eye distracting miracle worker  
AR: I do not know about a miracle worker, but I am keeping the signal muted from the campus and the other two companies as well so it shouldn’t make the news for some time. At least until Roxy can work her wizarding hacking skills into the planetary and science department long enough to confirm unfortunate theories. Which I am 98% sure are accurate.  
TG: i wasnt talking about you man  
TG: not that you are not crazy amazing at all things digital and internet and cool robot intimidation about possibly destroying off all of human life and inheriting everything else  
AR: I have never been more complimented in my existence, but I will not preemptively say this is the highest form of compliment ever given to me. I need to save that for future compliments that will no doubt come from unlikely and accidental sources.  
TG: aka dirk  
AR: That sure is a theory  
TG: which i am ninety eight percent sure is accurate  
AR: Sick comeback.  
TG: only top tier sick comebacks from the greatest dj of his time  
AR: As long as we are not including every other great DJ’s in this time. But we are off topic.  
TG: damn man  
TG: not even gonna let me defend myself   
TG: this is homophobic and i will sue  
AR: Legalities can wait because anyone else knowing about this information can also wait.  
AR: For now it’s just you, me, Roxy and Rose who know about this information.  
TG: of course rose knows  
TG: when does she not know something  
AR: Possibly when the grimdark creatures of old finally obscure her crystal ball into the void forever. Another theory needed to be put on hold as I see you finally reached Dirk’s room.   
AR: Do you accept this mission Dave?  
TG: stay zipperlipped about all these biznasty secrets to everyone including my very close friends until roxy confirms shit and get zombie dirk ass to class so that even at half brain capacity he continues to hold the champion belt of most impressive robotics student in the day and most hated robot killer wars creator at night  
TG: affirmative bro from another motherboard  
TG: also dont self destruct my phone or i will take this to court  
AR: Then I will compromise.  
  
autonomicResponder [AR] ceased trolling  turntechGodhead [TG]

Pesterlog is timed to self destruct.

Dave let himself crack a smile as he tucked his phone into his back pocket. He knocked lightly on Dirk’s dorm room before letting himself in anyway. And yeah, Dirk is in no condition to even answer seeing as he looks like he’s been staring at his open closet for a while.    

Dave has no idea if his cousin even knows what to put on in his dark room where the only light shining on anything is his dim computer screen. It looks like Hal had pestered Dirk to put some goddamn clothes on cause the dude isn’t high enough on the echeladder to attend classes in his black undershirt and pink pony boxers. Also worn ironically.

Of all the advanced classes Dirk is taking in an already advanced school, irony has one of those exponential learning curves that Dave will never catch up to in comparison to the prodigy. At least by being a year younger Dave has the time to get into all the ironic memes faster than even Dirk, considering he makes more than his fair share of the memes anyway.

Speaking of time, exactly five seconds later, Dave’s phone made the alarming sound of a bomb about go off in that classic shitty b-list action movie trope. It might’ve been the over-the-top explosion sound that finally got Dirk to move his head in Dave’s direction.    

“Oh. Hi,” he said.

The closer Dave walked to Dirk, the more it looks like his soul flew out of him.    

“It’s like your soul flew out of you man.” Or actually it might be that was his hope of ever finding their long lost guardians that actually flew out of him. Great, conflicting feelings are arising. Let’s put that thing aside for now cause it has teeth and it will gnaw at him all day if he even considers looking its way. Besides that signal Roxy saw could also be nothing and it seems cruel to let Dirk’s hopes rise in any way shape or form. Right, just justify your intentions and everything will be okay in the end because that always works.    

“You’re mumbling again.”    

Oh shit.    

“Oh shit, what came out of the Strider-no-filter mouth this time.”    

Dirk sighed and looked at his closet again, but Dave was pretty sure he wasn’t actually going to pick out anything anytime soon.

“Something about not justifying intentions,” he said and blinked his bloodshot, Fanta-orange eyes. That is a disgusting soda and Dirk really should learn more about the magic of apple juice. “I guess you’d be right Dave. And Roxy is right too.”

Oh yeah he’s still talking.

“They’re really gone. I’ve only been wasting my time and resources. Maybe I should’ve quit when everyone else quit too. Might’ve actually gotten around to making a robot body for Hal in that time.”

Goddamn these conflicting feelings. No. No more thinking about those since there is nothing to think about until tomorrow maybe.    

“I’m going to miss him, Dave.” Dirk said as he reached for one of his hung shirts, but only to touch it. Yeah he’s still not all there and he is also not helping with the ignoring of feelings. In fact, it feels like Dirk is actively trying to destroy him with feelings. Time to talk about something else, but not like an asshole. His cousin is being unironically sincere which is as rare as a sunflower surviving a snowstorm and no cold-blooded bastard would have the heart to do anything but protect that dainty and powerful flora like time itself was the enemy.

Dave placed his hand on Dirk’s shoulder and pulled down the shirt he mindlessly singled out. He’s going to be wearing a shirt with a cat face on a burrito today, appropriately titled Purrito. It was a birthday gift from Roxy and Dave hadn’t seen it in a while so it’s just as well. Dave also got him some black pants.

“Here, and don’t worry, you’re not the only one missing someone. John’s birthday is tomorrow and I’m sure everyone else wouldn’t be too terribly pissed off if you wanted in on their super secret feelings sesh about their old peeps. And by super secret I mean after they cut the cake right there on John’s table for all the world to see, including his dad. It’ll be the time of your life.”

Dirk sighed and looked down at the photoshopped kitten at his shirt. “I must be more tired than I thought because that doesn’t sound like the pointless torture session I’ve always believed it was.”    

“Rose will be there so it just might.”

Dirk grinned a little at that and Dave felt like he scored the gold medal touchdown championship or however sports work. But who cares anyway since Dirk looks like he’s attempting to rub sleep from his eyes. Yeah, it’s definitely sleep he’s rubbing away and nothing else to see here folks.    

“I’m assuming you’re also gonna be sharing over emotional feelings about missing your Bro there too,” Dirk said it like a joke but Dave knew better.    

Motherfuck. Quick, come up with something! Dave has been bullshiting this since before he knew he was bullshitting. But wait that might be a dick move since Dirk is being at least one percent unironic. What the fuck, he's been hesitating for a solid second now. Talk!    

“Uh,” Brilliant Dave, the mind of a poet. “Actually I don’t,” No wait mouth what are you doing?!    

Dave stopped only because he heard someone quickly approaching Dirk’s room, to which that someone walked in without knocking and turned the stupid bright light on both of the unsuspecting victims. Thankfully, Dave was already wearing his beautifully ironic Ben Stiller shades so he was hit with the sudden change less critically than his cousin.    

“Ow.” Dirk said deadpan, like the best ironic douchebag prodigy their ever was, even though he was currently squeezing his eyes shut and keeping his head down at the moment. Dave knew he would never reach his level. That’s what happens when your guardian is a famous director for horribly ironic movies.    

“Oops sorry!” John said holding a tray of drinks, fruit and croissants in one hand. He waved enthusiastically with his other hand in a quick apology. “Were you guys standing in the dark together?” he laughed “That’s a little weird. But it’s already seven and we have to go now if we don’t want to miss breakfast. Here Dirk. I brought you a coffee.” He quickly crossed the room to give the man his caffeinated drink.    

“Apology accepted.” Dirk took the iced drink and headed to his bathroom. He balanced the canned drink on top of his clothes and grabbed his ridiculous anime shades and a towel from his desk as he went.    

“Anything for his majesty, the prince,” John joked and mocked a bow.

Dirk shut his bathroom door and Dave tried to take the apple juice from John’s tray, but the sneaky little prankster pulled it away and stepped back at the same time. At least he had the foresight to set the tray down before he started this foolish game but come on.    

“Dude,” Dave started.    

“Nope. I’m holding this juice hostage until you meet my very high demands!” he actually had the unironic nerve to make a villainous laugh. Dave has yet to understood how John was never been stuffed in a locker with how much of a dork he was.    

“It’s moments like these that make it hard to sympathize with criminals.” Dave said as he readied himself to tackle his roomate. “Everyone is always ‘Aw but they had a great job and a family and kids’ but you just can’t make me feel for the actual criminal that had the goddamn nerve to do the unforgivable in the first place. Why didn’t this criminal think of his own job and family and children. Nope he just had to get his hands on someone else’s property first. Store-bought apple juice is too good for him.”    

The entire time Dave made quick little hand snatches toward his revered drink, but John must’ve finally learned a thing or two about moving his fingers out of the way in woodshop class because his attempts were not fruitful.

“No dude!” John laughed until he heard Dirk's shower start. It might be a while before boy-robot-genius decided he was ready. Egbert's face became slightly less comical but he was still smiling as he lowered his voice. “Hey, you're coming to my house tomorrow right?”

“What kind of asshole friend would miss his best friend, slash, roommate's birthday?”

“You kind of asshole!” John snickered.

“Blasphemy of the highest caliber! I should excommunicate you from Strider religion immediately.” Dave snatched thin air again. Damnit.

“Am I supposed to worship you in that religion?” He laughed but didn't give Dave the opportunity to explain. “Yeah I know you come to the party but you don't really stay after. And you _always_ say there's something you forgot to do or something! You've missed the craziest stories about Jade's grandpa. He's been through the wackiest adventures I would've sworn weren't real, but Jade always has evidence to back it up!”

“C'mon John. Just hearing this much about your after-party-feelings-jam is draining all my street cred. I'm going for broke here! The bank will foreclose my house!”

“No you come on! And you better not say Rose or Roxy's moms aren't cool, they'd kill you if they heard that.”

They might _try_.

“But you and everyone else already knows about my Bro. Why’d I gotta repeat myself again? Things get old if they keep happening.” Dave pauses for a moment and John smirks.

“Unless it's ironic or a meme.” they both say at the same time.

John laughs and finally tosses the apple juice. Sweet nectar of the gods.

“Come on Dave we've only heard how cool he is that he has ironic things in his house, but you've never told us any actual stories. And it's fun to hear cool stories. Maybe Dirk would like to share stuff about his big bro too. I always wondered what it's like to be famous.” He says with his signature derpy grin.

“Dude I'm standing right here and also, way ahead of you old man, get with the times.”

“Come on! For my birthday, pleeeeaaaase!” John reached over to grab him, but Dave moved aside just in time.

“Nah, but maybe I'll consider it if you record yourself saying I'm the greatest sensation known to man.”

“Careful Dave. That almost sounded like every man knows you as a great sensation. Additionally, I believe it is socially expected to greet your fellow peers with ironic sincerity of the morality of the time.” A very smug young lady in dark-purple clothes said at Dirk's doorway.

John was too distracted laughing to question all the reasons she shouldn't be right there at that exact moment.

“Yes and good morning to you too Rose. What is it with nosey broads popping up exactly where they shouldn't today. It's like I'm a beacon for sassy babes today. I'm a chick magnet John.” he didn't stop to think about what he'd said, but that's okay. His twin sister loves doing that for him whenever she got the chance.

In fact, she was raising a perfect eyebrow right now. “Are you implying that both Roxy, your cousin, and me, your sister, would want to get with you?”

John was definitely having the time of his life. If by life it meant he may die soon because he couldn't possibly be breathing under all that laughter.

“Yeah, yeah Rose. Freudian slips and you love catching me with my pants down--goddammit!” Ah, he did it again and now even Rose was laughing at him. Except she was laughing on the inside but he knew she was laughing on account of her subtle, black-lipstick smile.

“Despite thinking yourself the center of attention, I did come because Roxy messaged me and I came to offer my assistance.” She said and smoothed down her already immaculate dark purple suit shirt and embroidered black skirt. Dark purple tentacles decorated the bottom of the skirt, as if the horrors of the ocean would soon pull her down. She always said intimidation started with the way you dress.

“You owe her a favor too don't you?” John snickered.

Rose fixed her purple eyes on him. “John, it is fairly rude to insinuate that a family member wouldn't rise at ridiculous hours of the day to help another family member in need. Having said that, if one wishes to wipe the slate clean of uncalculated debt, well it would be as if making good on the two unfortunate feathered beasts with a singular stone.”

It's always entertaining watching Rose eviscerate someone as long as they aren't the one on the chopping board.

“Aw jeez Rose,” John's train of thought got derailed on account of all their phones all going off.

gardenGnostic [GG] began memo: Stars crashing in the house tonight! 

[GG] added to memo: ghostlyTrickster [GT] turntechGodhead [TG] tentacleTherapist [TT]

GG: Hey everybody! Good morning excetera, excetera, guess what?  
GT: i guess something to do with space.  
TG: ditto  
TT: Then I will make this occasional speculation more interesting and venture it has something to do with stars.  
GG: i’m gonna give friendship points to rose because she guessed better but you're all right!  
GG: there is an early meteor shower that’s going to happen sometime before lunch! :D  
GG: but don't bother looking they are really hard to spot in the day.

None of them noticed that Dirk had finished with his shower and already stepped out, dressed and ready for the day.

“Why are all of you staring out my window?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I learned so many things I did not know before (wipes forehead) but I am filled with determination! >:3c


	2. Two birds, One spicy meatball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A perfectly generic object has fallen down. :3c

Roxy Lalonde had quickly grabbed her laptop from her dormitory and headed straight for the planetarium. It was the only place where they had a strong enough telescope to look into space. Roxy didn’t know how to operate it yet since she wasn’t in the advanced space classes like Dave’s friend, Jade Harley, but Hal had that knowledge.

All Roxy needed to do was sneak her way into one of the computer programs in the small room’s system to get him through. She kept the lights off so that only the dim light of her laptop and the computer she was hacking lit her face. She felt lucky that Dave’s friend loved talking about space so much that it was a matter of moments before Ms. Harley was giving them all tours of the school’s planetarium.

Jade even made a spare key for Roxy since they were both enthusiastic about learning more, though Roxy preferred tracking star trajectory, different mass orbits and black hole calculations.

“I’m in!” Roxy giggled.  
Hal got busy blocking the signal from getting to anyone too important. Someone was still bound to notice a mass of some kind heading in their direction, but at least they would think it was space debris. Roxy got to work figuring out when and where the signal would drift to, based on the information of the moving space static. Her fingers moved fast over her keyboards, causing a small echo to fill the empty space.

No one would be using this room until late in the afternoon when it was easier to spot stars, but Roxy kept the schedule on a side window just in case someone decided they wanted to make a surprise lecture.

From the corners of her focus she could see Hal was already working on a looping program to block the signal as long as possible while he got work on deciphering what the signal was actually showing. Roxy already had the programs working on stealth mode and locked onto Hal’s signal.  
“It almost feels like I’m copying your homework Hal!” Roxy giggled as she completed a few numbers to add to the tracking program.

An audio program was open to read Hal’s text, he liked to alternate to Siri sometimes when he wanted to mess with people, specifically Dirk, but normally, he stuck to a familiar GPS male voice. It was actually Dave who managed to figure out that even though most of Hal’s voice of choice was mechanical, fluctuation of Dirk’s voice were mixed in there. Hal would never admit to it, but Dave says he knows what’s up. Roxy is inclined to believe the student who is top of his class in music studies and a DJ god in his secret gigs at night.

“We can call it a collaboration instead.” Hal said. His synthetic voice only stayed in her headphones, which she plugged in her laptop to keep charged.  
“Hmm, the last time I did a technical collaboration was probably with Mr. Jake English himself! When he gets back from his island adventure boy trip with his sister, we might work on something again.” A short laugh left her lips. Then, she frowned and sighed. “Oh, who am I kidding, he probably still hates me for encouraging Janey to ask him out.” Roxy mumbled into her palm. “You think that’s why Jane hasn’t talked to me either?”

“Since she made me promise to keep out of her tech, I have no idea what she has been up to in her Betty Crocker CEO training.” Hal said. “But that doesn’t mean their public website is off limits and that is where the general schedule for CEO training is held. According to that.”

Hal pulled up a calendar that was almost entirely full of business, public speaking, secretary, treasury, and presidential classes. There were several required electives including learning four languages and traditional eating and dancing techniques.

Roxy’s mouth fell open and her eyes widened. “Oh my gosh! How has she not ripped her hair out by now?” She scrolled through more of the scheduled business days and it seemed she barely had time to eat. “This stuff seems intense and I’m the one learning computer and space science!”

“I believe she even has to ask for personal time to come visit when it is John’s birthday.”

Roxy stalking her best friend was going to have to be put on hold since her Pesterchum app was ringing for attention. It looks like by none other than Dirk!

timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering  tipsyGnostalgic [TG]  
  
TT: It seems I’ve been assigned guards to escort me to classes today.  
TT: And at the same time you are nowhere to be found.  
TG: aw dirky!  
TG: don’t worry about it  
TG: just a lil r/r at the planetarium!  
TT: In the daytime. And by yourself.  
TG: don’t worry  
TG: hal is keeping me company  
TG: *accommodated  
TG: **accompanied  
TT: Oh. That fills me with all the confidence in the world.  
TT: I’ll bet he’s keeping tabs on our every single conversation isn’t he?  
TG: lol  
TG: you guys fight like a married couple  
TT: Lies and slander.  
AR: Also, wholly inaccurate since Dirk already has Jake as a verbally sparring partner.  
TT: Fuck you.  
TG: omg  
TG: :O  
AR: It wouldn’t hurt you as much if you actually got the nerve to talk to him about anything at all.

timaeusTestified [TT] blocked  autonomicResponder [AR]

TT: I know that does absolutely nothing to a sentient computer program but it is about as satisfying as slamming the door at someone’s face.  
TG: oh don’t you worry aboot hal  
TG: *habout  
TG: **about  
TG: i’ll give him a motherly talking to and we can figure out a parental punishemt for him later  
TG: *punishment  
TT: Now you’ve made me think of Hal as our child, Roxy.  
TG: whoops!  
TG: oh well, accidents happen, even between a boy and girl super computer geniuses.  
TT: This gross feeling isn’t getting better.  
TT: Let me part from this conversation with a hallmark and sociable answer.  
TT: Feel better and see you at John’s party tomorrow.

timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering  tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

TG: omg ur actually going to join us??

timaeusTestified [TT] is an idle chum 

TG: this is great news!

“I wonder if he really will talk to everyone else or just sit in the corner and brood.” Hal’s automatic voice stated, though it was tilting into almost pouting territory.

Roxy minimized her Pesterlog window and muted the notification pings, lest she get distracted from important hacking again. “Hal that was so awful! Why would you say that to him?”

“He needs to get over himself already. I stand by all my points. Even you have told him several times that spending five all-nighters in a row, away from everyone would make him socially, and I quote ‘ugly’, Roxy.”

“Maybe but you gotta be careful how you tell people that. It feels horrible when you say it expediently--especially if you say it like that. Hasn’t Rose or John told you that stuff?” Roxy busied herself with typing lightning-fast again.

“I don’t care anymore. I have programs to stabilize.” Hal’s voice seemed to actually mutter this time. Roxy sighed, at least his social queues were becoming more accurate.

People would think snatching understandable information from miles of space between the start to the received journey of a signal would be hard. Well, they would be right. People aren’t born knowing how to do this, but when you spend most of your free time staying in the company of a cousin who taught himself and his genius-hacker-best-friend how to track space signals, it gets to be second nature.

“Oh!” Roxy and Hal said at the same time for different reasons.

“It’s going to land in this state!” Roxy squealed in delight.

“The signal they’re sending seems to be a form of text.” Hal learned how to make his words flex up and down to sound like he is forming a question or showing interest about a year ago. This amused Rose and Hal equally because during that first month they were simply mocking conventional feelings. But habits can form even in artificial beings it seems since he does it almost without meaning to now.  
Roxy flipped and magnified her screen to show the images Hal uncovered. There were recognizable colors of red, white, blue, yellow and lots of grey. Sadly, it was very pixelated, so she could almost see repeating patterns. Since the signal was getting closer, she began throwing out square inch patterns at the edge of the messages to clear the information. The image will become clearer the closer it got, but it would have to be refreshed every second.

“It’s going relatively fast and nearby. It may land today.” Hal stated. Roxy opened a window on the weather and nearby atmosphere objects. The general google page had a NASA announcement about a short meteor shower happening in a few minutes.

“Wait, check out that NASA news!” Roxy said as she pointed to the screen.

Hal quickly scrolled through the information and Roxy opened her own window to skim and then followed a link about the history of Lyrids Meteor shower.

“It seems too early for this type of Meteor shower.”

“Yeah I saw that it usually happens late April instead of now.” Roxy sat in silence for a moment. “Oh, do you think that it's just whatever this object is instead?”

“But if NASA picked up several objects, our target may be in pieces.” That didn’t sound like good news, but, there is still a signal so there must be something still working up there. “Most of the smaller pieces are likely to burn in the atmosphere.” He kept his voice neutral, but Roxy still cringed and she took a deep breath. Her fingers lifted from the keys and she stared at her hands, but wasn’t really looking at them.

“We should, um,” she had to take another breath when her eyes began to water.

“There may not be anyone with that signal. It could be automatic.” Hal continued, his voice still neutral.

“We should,” her fingers finally touched her keys and she had to swallow the lump in her throat. “We should check to see where it would land if it has enough mass to survive reentering.” She blinked several times, “Signal should be close enough to start measuring mass right?” Her voice warbled.

It stayed silent for a few seconds before Hal flipped through her screen. “I’ll do it.”

Roxy tried to say ‘thanks’, or ‘uh huh’, but she barely made an intelligible noise before her hands were quickly trying to wipe away tears. She thought she was done crying about this. It’s been three years! Two since everyone gave up, two and a half since Dirk started looking every night. He always said there had to be something out there. They wouldn’t just disappear. They wouldn’t just abandon everything or everyone they knew. But by the middle of this past year, even he said, if he could just find out where they were, whether they were alive or not, just as long as it was something!

She still didn’t know if hiding this information was right or not. Selfishly, she wanted Dirk to be there with her, so that at least they would both be crying together. But he’s had his heart broken so many times already. Even his boyfriend, Jake, told him he needed to figure out what he was going to do if he never found anything. What was she going to say to him when this was all over? Oh god, her mother--

“The signal has become clearer.” Hal announced and enlarged a more recent image on her screen.

“Well that’s definitely gonna hurt my eyes.” Roxy squinted at the rapidly moving image.

“I’ll make a few screenshots.” Hal minimized the moving image and put still images in Roxy’s windows instead. She got to work on cropping the image again and tracing the outlines as best as she could manage. It may be hard to separate what is moving as part of the signal too, but…

“Looks like this yellow squiggly lines are text.” Roxy commented and pulled out her pink, cat-faced notebook to try and draw some symbols. “Hmm, these aren’t English letters, or any math symbols I’ve seen.” 

“I also do not recognize them as code symbols.” Hall added. “I would say it is a different language, but of the many languages studied by our guardians, none of these look familiar. I would still have to go through other language alphabets to be sure.” 

“Do you think they made something up to keep secrets?” Roxy asked. Dirk’s boyfriend, or maybe ex-boyfriend, she wasn’t sure at this point, often liked to talk about his favorite movies and how much detail goes into them. He even showed her made up language things from a trilogy once. 

“It’s possible. I’ll start keeping record of repeating symbols just in case. But from I can see, it is only repeating the same few words, sometimes in different orders, but still the same.” 

Roxy made a curious noise and checked on the tracking signal status. 

“Oh em gee! It’s going to land in eleven minutes!” 

Hal pulled up an image snatched by the planetarium’s strongest telescope. It could only catch a few dust-looking snapshots of what was probably closer debris in the Mesosphere. It’s going to start burning soon. 

Roxy unplugged her headset and left her laptop on the planetarium’s empty floor to climb the only ladder to the roof. Hal was still connected to her headset through wireless signal, so he will still be able to communicate with her. She turned on the camera to be nice though, so he could see it happen. She may not be sharing the moment with Dirk, but at least Hal was there.

There was a small hatch she had to push extra hard on to shove open, but when she finally climbed out, the wind was making her scarf whip behind her, almost like a cape. She smiled at the thought of being a magical wizard posing as the wind flew through her beard, well, scarf. As expected, she couldn’t see anything in the sky yet. Hal informed her where she should be looking but nothing happened for another moment so she checked her watch. It was 10:58. 

“Only two minutes to go,” she shielded her eyes as she looked up again. Very small white fires sparked in the distance. So the debris was finally hitting the stratosphere. She felt her heart sinking again. “Did you ever figure out if there was anything big enough...?” her voice became quieter until she left the sentence hanging. 

“I’m sorry. It doesn’t seem like there were very many objects bigger than a coffee can.”

“Oh,” Roxy’s voice squeaked. It meant the signal could have just been a prerecorded message on a tiny radio machine. Nothing else would be coming back. She bit her lip. Her eyes were moist again so she blinked tears away. So this is it then.

It seemed the tiny white sparks were slowing down. That signal was probably burned out by now. Roxy sighed and closed her eyes. This is it. 

“There is absolutely nothing left to look for, Hal.” She began to turn towards the ladder again.

“Wait Roxy. Look back up again. I think I saw something,” Hal used urgency in his voice so Roxy instinctively looked at the sky again. There were no more white flames, but something was still falling down. It was a really small object, but it seemed to be glitching. No, wait! It was alternating between two colors. Red and blue.   
“Is that still fire?” 

“According to the telescope it does look like fire, but the object inside doesn’t seem to be deteriorating.” Hal explained with a hint of interest. The object didn’t stop falling and it landed in the woods behind the school. 

“What’s behind there, Hal?” She asked excitedly as she ran toward the roof ladder. Though Roxy loved to hide away in unknown places, the woods wasn’t one of those on account of not enough technology or friends to go with. Also, the woods were huge and she’d once had a short race there with John and Dave, in which she had lost miserably, but they covered a lot of ground. Hal told them later they didn’t even cover 10% of the woods. 

Roxy double checked her headgear and laptop’s battery life. They were at 90%, but she liked bringing her generator with her anyway. So after quickly shoving everything into her backpack, she put on her hoodie and started keeping to the darker parts of the school in order to make it to the woods. 

“Nothing comes up on the school records, but I’ll see if I can double check the principles information.”  
“You do that, and I’m gonna run. Talk to me when you see I’m safe in the woods.”

The only on campus guards at the back of the school were D. Droog and C. Deuce. Both of which don’t care to much about actually catching students unless they are ridiculously obvious in what they’re doing. Luckily, Roxy is a stealth master and managed to sprint behind every available garbage can and ball box while their backs were turned. She made into the woods shade in record time. 

“If you keep heading in this direction, you’ll get to a sewer opening.” Hal piped up, “It still doesn’t look like there would be anything interesting this way except sewer tunnels, Septic tanks, and a central sewage system about 0.0782197 miles.”

“You could’ve just said feet if it was simpler,” Roxy laughed and stepped around a spiny bush with tiny white flowers on them. They smelled good so she would have to make a mental note to come back and show her friends later. 

“Nah.”

Roxy walked for a couple more minutes before she spotted the sewer lid, which was actually more in the shape of one of those large bank vault doors. Upon inspection, it seemed that there was a combination to open it, which made it more of a mechanical door. There was a little cat with two eyes on it near the combination key. 

“Oh! That’s Rose’s mom’s logo!” Roxy squatted onto the grass to see it in more detail. “I remember her letting me play with her frozen mutated cat collection.” She traced the iconic cat face, “Sadly I was so small then, that I dropped one, which bumped a table with a huge book on it and that fell on her favorite cat.”

“An accidental murder, Roxy? That is an excellent childhood memory.”

She laughed. “Well we did end up holding a funeral for the cat. I remember Rose complained about it, but my mom said it was necessary for events to transpire the way they did. I was just confused and sad.” Roxy shrugged. “Hmm.”

She tried putting in the date of the funeral, but nothing happened and the door wouldn’t budge. 

“It seems strange to me, that Rose’s mother would be interested in branding the door handle to a recorded sewer system.” Hal stated.

“Yeah, I don’t think sewage maintenance was her passion.” Roxy frowned and tried putting in Rose’s birthday, which had just passed. Nothing happened. “If it has to do with her job at SL I’m not sure I will know the combination.” She tried her mom’s birthday and her aunt’s birthday. Nothing happened still.

“What about the day they left?” Hal asked, his tone quieter than usual.

“Thats,” Roxy pressed each number, “tomorrow.”

The door snapped open an inch and then slowly opened the rest of the way, revealing dim lights down a ladder. Roxy took a deep breath.

“I know what I’m gonna give John for his birthday.”

“Roxy the fact that this thing was here in this form tells me we don’t have all the information.” 

She was already ignoring him and climbing down the ladder. Once she reached the bottom she turned on a small pencil light, that Rose gave her for her last birthday. Roxy could barely make out fades signs on the cement walls. To the left of the ladder was a sign with an arrow that pointed to the left. It said: School. The the right: SN.

Well, Roxy knows where she’s going, so she shone her tiny light on the floor and saw that there were two sidewalks leading down a long tunnel with water in the middle. She had to be extra careful not to touch any of it as she ran down the hall. It was quickly made clear that the light system down here ran on a sort of motion sensor machination. Every step she made forward, had several lights light up in front of her and the lights behind her turned off. She made a mental note to about bringing her skates next time since the sidewalk was pretty smooth. There were very few turns and she didn’t even have to keep using her pen light due to the plentiful illumination. 

“This place is so cool!” Roxy huffed and laughed. She ended up running for another minute before walking instead. She’s not out of shape, but running for long periods of time is not her thing. Roxy is definitely bringing her skates tomorrow. 

It wasn’t too much longer until she saw another ladder with an arrow pointing up saying: SkaiaNet.   
“Oh em gee! Oh em gee!” she squealed and ascended. At the top of the ladder, it also had the symbol of the mutant kitty so she put in the same numbers and it opened exactly the same way. 

“Be careful.” Hal warned quietly. “I have absolutely no information about this place.”

She peeked out and saw that she was in the corner of a room somewhere. There were machines, which looked a lot like computer servers connected to much larger generators than the one she and Jake showed their guardians they made a year before they left. There were also four cylindrical spaces that looked like they could fit a person inside. Wires went from the ceiling, to those weird shower-like stalls, and down to the middle of the room. There was nothing in the middle, but Roxy could almost make out lines in the floor. Maybe there was something down there. 

As soon as she climbed out of the sewer entrance, the lid slowly closed itself. She would have to guess it had a sensor too, otherwise it might’ve closed while she was still peeking at the room. Just when the lid clicked shut, there was a dinging sound at the other end of the wall. It seemed to be an elevator door.

Roxy automatically stepped back and hid herself in the shadow of a large server. Her backpack hit the wall and a metal pole of some kind, but she ignored it to squeeze herself into the tight space. She still had a good view of the strange lines on the middle of the floor, but she couldn’t see the elevator doors anymore. 

They opened and Roxy quieted her breathing as someone approached. 

Actually. Wait.

It’s a girl, but, she has grey skin and her eyes are completely white. She has ram-shaped horns, which were candy corn colors, but the tips are yellow instead of white. Her black shirt holds a dark red symbol of the Aries sign and her white socks could be seen through her ripped and burned black skirt. 

This girl wasn’t walking as she approached, but actually looked like she was floating. Oh. Her long, crazy hair is also floating too. Oh my god, she is see through.

Roxy might have accidentally stepped into a scary movie, but the ghost girl didn’t seem to have noticed her yet. In fact, the ghost girl was preoccupied with a small black cube in her hands. The cube had several lights on it that was blinking rapidly in every color. The cube may have been damaged because there were a few red and blue sparks randomly shooting out, but that didn’t seem to bother the ghost girl.

She floated to the center of the room. One of the floor panels beeped when the ghost girl glowed white for a brief second and the floor opened. She let go of the cube, which was not surrounded by a white light and slowly descended to the floor opening. 

When the hatch closed, the weird red and blue sparks burst out for half a second before it seemed that everything turned on. Roxy was slightly startled by the now whirling fans of the server she leaned on, but she kept quiet. The ghost girl hovered over the middle of the room when suddenly she looked up, exactly where Roxy stood. 

“Oh shit.” Hal said.

The ghost slowly lifted one hand toward the elevator before sinking into the floor. When nothing happened for another five seconds, Roxy let out a breath.

“I thought I was gonna get possessed for a second there,” she whispered. Roxy moved out of her hiding spot only to bump into the metal poll behind her again. A quick glance told her it was another ladder that went up through the ceiling and another hatch. 

She walked cautiously to the middle of the room and looked down at the sealed floor. There was a scanner next to the panel, so it wouldn’t be opened with a combination. 

“You think we should go?” Roxy asked as she looked at the elevator.

“Sure. Why not follow instructions from some horned-ghost girl?” Hal said in a dead tone only an inexperienced person wouldn’t recognize as sarcastic.

Roxy smiled a bit. “Great. I’m glad there are no objections.”

Hal audibly sighed in her headset.

Her hands shook a little as she pressed the button to take her up. Apparently, this was the bottom floor. It didn’t take long for the doors to open for her, she would guess since that ghost girl was the last one to ride the thing. There didn’t seem to be many floors based on the three buttons. 

She didn’t have to push anything seeing as a white glow pressed the second button and the doors closed. Roxy couldn’t tell if the sudden shift in gravity was what made her stomach sink.

“Roxy if anything should happen I can message Dirk and the school security in a second. But, I really think you should leave.” He urged with his mechanical voice. He actually almost sounded like Dirk.

Roxy only had time to squeeze her hands into fists before the elevator door opened. Floor lights led the way into another room. There was a large computer in the middle of it with some kind of mechanical table next to the cushiest gamer office chair in existence. Four other computers and chairs sat on either side of the room, but they didn’t look as important as the main attraction. Roxy walked toward it like a moth to a flame.

The ceiling lights brighten the room after another quick surge of red and blue sparks on the walls. The main computer flickered on just as Roxy reached the seat.

“It’s the weird symbols again,” Roxy said. She looked down at the keyboard. This place might be super secret but nothing of what they have here suggests that they have anything with to do with those symbols

The screen flickers one last time in red and blue sparks before the symbols change into recognizable English. The previous words were erased before Roxy could read them and new words were added to the screen.

Memo to Anon   
twinArmageddons [TA] changed memo title: Whom the fuck   
TA: who2 there  
TA: oh  
TA: you’re real liive aliiens  
TA: and nobody beliieved me or KK but whatever the fuck we’re here now  
TA: damn look2 like you don’t under2tand anything  
TA: there  


Roxy had several questions.

TA: ii changed the text to the language that was avaiilable iin thi2 program.  
TA: iif you’re the one aliien after 2everal liight year2 who can’t actually read, ii’m going two have a long niight  
TA: congrats two me  


“Holy fucking spicy meatballs!” That wasn’t a question but Roxy’s energy had to go somewhere. This is like, the discovery of the century! So without further prompt, she grabbed the desk chair and made herself at home.

First item on the list was clearly a line of communication, but she still had no idea what or who it was that was typing so she began by downloading a locked version of her pesterlog app and opening a new window chat with Hal so he could also ask questions.

TA: oh   


Whatever this entity was shouldn’t be able to get into it, but just in case she put one of her favorite traps just near the edge of the program. Hmm, maybe John was rubbing off on her cause she almost wanted the computer voice thingy to fall right into this bomb full of memes.

TA: well  
TA: at lea2t iit’s good to know your 2peciies ii2n’t entiirley thiink2sponge mu2h.  


tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began trolling autonomicResponder [AR]  
  
TG: omgee!!  
TG: dis is the coolst thing thats ever happend to me when i snuck into a place i shouldn’t!!  
TG: *coolest  
AR: I believe it would be best to introduce ourselves first.  
AR: Also, that she is a human being and I am not.  


TA: ii thiink iii 2poke two 2oon about the thiink2ponge thiing.   


It was time to ask all the most important questions.

TG: wat iss ur name cutie?  
TG: with ur cute red and blue colors?  
TG: were u dat spooky cool chick floating around pointing at aviators?  
TG: *elivators?  
TG: **elevators  
TG: if that was u  
TG: u are sooo pretty!!  


TA: oh gog no   
TA: ii don’t even know how to re2pond two thii2   
TA: ii2 thii2 aliien fliirting becau2e ii KNOW ii don’t have tiime for culture 2hock   


AR: Roxy, if you wouldn’t mind, I will like a turn on the lightning fast round of important questions.  
TG: y’know i don’t mind Hal!!  
AR: Do you know anything about Space Mission SBURB: SN corporation date 4/13?  


Roxy held her breath, but instead of receiving a reply, a new window popped up showing the weird cube thing they saw earlier. Only this time, it was a report on the stupid amount of data one inch square a corner of that cube could store. Roxy was sure that if Hal had eyebrows, he would be raising them.

Also, the cube had SN’s signature icon stamp on it, which means, Jake’s and Jade’s Grandparents help build the ridiculous cube. The project also had funding from other places, like Dirk’s famous guardian, D Strider, Roxy’s mom, Dave’s Bro, Rose’s mom and even John’s Grandmother. Wow, so it looks like a quick year-long space mission wasn’t the only thing they were working on in this super secret bunker.

TA: everythiing ii know about your planet is on this report and the data 2tructuring where me and my friiend2 are kept  
TA: but even that ii2 not enough two know iif your 2peciies are not ab2olute morons  
TA: for example, the cube ii2 tiitled PGO  
TA: and after 2ome diiggiing ii fiind out iit 2tands for  
TA: Perfectly  
TA: Generiic  
TA: Object  
TA: what the fuck ii2 up wiith that??  
TA: ii 2eriously doubted iif my tran2lation program wa2 working  


TG: lol  
TG: our guardsions were great  
TG: *guardisons  
TG: **college grads  
AR: I believe at least three members of the group making this item were indeed enjoying a good chuckle over this or it could be they were thinking ahead and trying to keep someone off their trail.  
TG: why not both?  


TA: iif you’re talkiing about keeping the cube a 2ecret so no one would diie, iit diidn’t work  
TA: or at lea2t not iin the end  


It felt like those two sentences were the fastest way to make Roxy’s stomach sink to the bottom of the floor. So they are dead, or maybe some of them, or even one. But which ones? Are there any survivors? Oh god, she’s going to start crying!

AR: We have been talking this entire time and we have yet to know your name or what kind of being you are.  


TA: ii 2tiill don’t know iif AR ii2 another one of you “human” aliien2 who ii2 tryiing two mess wiith me  
TA: but no  
TA: ii wa2 not made iin 2ome of your palmhu2k2 or p2iioniicly charged machiine2  
TA: ii’m a troll who had the ma22iive mii22fortune of gettiing 2ucked into a data cube when everyone around me diied a horriible and paiinful death  


TG: (omg hal, i think they're saying they got Ghost busted slash, Tronned into a digital cube)  
AR: (I'm pretty sure they also mean they are an alien who came from another planet)  


TA: ii hate iit when iim riight about long niight2  
TA: do you know how two u2e thiis technology or not??  
TA: ii wa2 under the iimpre22iion thii2 place and you people could get u2 free  
TA: ii would very much appreciiate not beiing 2tuck iin thi2 cube forever  


TG: not yet!  
AR: We are fast learners. But we would like to start by understanding whatever you know about this cube and how you and your troll friends, as you said, were sucked into it.  


TA: ...  
TA: alriight.  
TA: but ii only know half the iinformation  


The window closed suddenly and the computer shut down. Roxy took her hands off the keyboard in surprise, but the computer turned back on, except someone new was typing to them.

TA has fallen asleep and is an idle troll  
apocalypseArisen [AA] took over memo: whom the fuck  
AA: i ap0l0gize f0r the interrupti0n  
AA: 0nly i d0nt actually care h0w y0u feel ab0ut it  
AA: s0llux has to rest n0w  
AA: y0u can talk t0 him after eleven h0urs  
AA: n0w sh0w y0urself 0ut the way you came in  
AA: 0r d0nt  
AA: it d0esnt matter t0 me if y0u w0uld rather stay here and starve  
AA: m0re gh0sts w0uld make this place cr0wded though  


apocalypseArisen [AA] has closed memo  


The computer turned off again and though the lights were still on, Roxy felt like the chill on her spine darkened the atmosphere. She quickly stood and walked to the elevator. The doors opened automatically and the button for the bottom floor was already pressed. It was a short ride to the bottom and though Roxy feared she would see the horned-ghost girl again, there was no one. Everything was still on and stayed on even as she saw the sewer lid close on her while she climbed down the ladder again.

Once she reached the floor, she took a deep breath.

“Well, we are definitely coming back tomorrow.” Roxy walked back the way she came. “And next time, I’m bringing everyone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (ehehehe)


	3. Chapter 3: Happy Groundhog--oh I mean Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> welcome to Jumanji! The video game! >:3c

John Egbert woke up with a headache in the morning. Having spent all their non-class hours yesterday keeping Dirk busy, he had to stay up extra late last night helping his dad decorate his house for his birthday. Dave went back to their dormitory claiming he had homework to do, but John figured he just didn’t want to let his dad know that he would be working at a club that night.

John keeps telling him not to worry about it, his dad was pretty boring about most things that didn’t involve randomly placed harlequins. Dave said he would tell whenever the moment was right. Or that’s what he thinks Dave meant after a two minute rant about pushing birds off a plane, or something.

At least Dirk stayed and helped decorate too. John’s dad and Dirk talked a little bit about school while John did most of the decorating and hiding of Betty Crocker products. When Dirk went back to the campus he offered John a ride, since he was the only one currently with a driver’s licence, but he was still in the process of hunting down every last easily baked cake recipe and said he would stay with his dad that night.

Dave sent him pesterlogs that got more ridiculous the longer he wrote and John eventually fell asleep, still laughing at his best friend. Rose sent everyone a message around 11 pm, when Roxy finally returned to the dormitory. Roxy didn’t tell anyone what she’d done that day and nobody could really make her since her roommate was Jane Croker. She was John’s cousin but even didn’t get to talk to her much since she was away studying. She’s supposed to come home today with Jake and Jade for his birthday though. They promised they would celebrate with together.

Roxy did say she would tell them all her secrets at the Egbert estate after school. He couldn't wait for the party to start but he did have biology, english and piano classes. It was going to feel like the longest day in history!

John quickly rubbed his eyes clean and looked for his glasses. It was barely seven so he only overslept about ten minutes.  

By the smell of sweet bread in the air, he figured his dad was making breakfast pancakes downstairs. John got dressed quickly. Pancakes were not as horrible as the daily cakes his dad made. Not that his dad ever does anything but top quality when he bakes, but it does get aggravating having to eat cake every single day. Plus, he was sure his dad added blueberries to his birthday breakfast and it was going to be great.

John had just reached the bottom step when some insistent knocking could be heard on his front door. He quickly changed his direction hoping it was the postal worker with the new prankster set he ordered.

“I'll get it dad!” He opened the door and it wasn't a postal worker. “Is this going to be a recurring theme, Roxy?”

“Perhaps you're just stuck in a time loop.” She giggled and hugged him. “Happy birthday, John!”

He hugged her back of course, because it's Roxy. She's pretty and nice and came all this way from school campus to say happy birthday.

Roxy ended the hug but didn't let go of his arms as she started pull him out of the house. “I've got your present already, but you have to come see it now!” Dang she was strong.

“Wait Roxy. We're not going to eat breakfast? My dad made--”

Roxy let him go and poked her head into his house. “Sorry Mr. Egbert! I'm taking John to go see his present early, but I'll make sure he gets to school on time.” She closed the door and grabbed John's hand to start running to the side of John's house where he kept his bicycle.

“C'mon, b-day boy! It's all the way back at campus and I wanted you to see it before anyone else,” she sat in the grass and pulled her skates, pads and hot pink-cat-eared helmet to strap on.

Actually, Roxy is also not an early riser and now that he notices, her light pink hair is a mess. She was also not wearing her favorite cat-eared headset.

“Uh, Roxy. Not that I wouldn't love to go with you but did you even sleep last night? Weren't you supposed to rest all yesterday? At least that's what Dirk told me.”

Her eyes went wide but she didn't hesitate putting on her knee pads, roller skates already to go. “It's a surprise,” she giggled.

John reached his bike and helmet as she began to skate away, still strapping her helmet on. Oh jeez if he didn't at least keep up with her and she crashed into a tree or something, he didn't want to be the one to tell Dirk he let that happen.

“Wait! Hold on, I'm coming!” John fumbled with his dark blue helmet a moment and then rode his bike as quickly as he could to catch up to her. The school was about ten minutes away from John’s suburban unit, but that didn’t mean they had any time to daydream on the way there. A highway was to the immediate right after they leave the house complex, so they have to keep an eye out for traffic.

It was only when they slipped past the turn onto their school street that John caught up and it was quiet enough to talk. She was already mumbling something about getting her driver’s license soon. Dave and John have a bet going on as to whether she would get it next year or this year. John is doubting about her getting it this year now though. It’s a wonder and a half about how she’s not laying on the floor and sleeping now.

“John, we’re gonna go toward the woods, cuz that’s where the surprise is okay,” Roxy jumped onto the school’s funny rubber ground that leads to the race-track toward the back of the school and John follows.

“Do you have your phone on you? I forgot mine at home,” he asked feeling just a little bit anxious. At least of something happens, like she falls asleep while skating and hits a tree, he would like to have the technology handy for calling an ambulance, or something.

“What? Yeah, I have my headset,” she reached for her head and only found her helmet, “Oh, uh, then my pager,” she reached for her waist but there was nothing there except her skirt from yesterday. “Oh--whoops!” Roxy tripped as the rubber floor changed into grass when they reached the end at the back of the school. She caught herself before she fell though and kind of just kept running on the grass.

“Are you okay? Also, since when did you have a pager?” John’s bicycle became a little difficult to maneuver on the grass, but not impossible.

She looked up in confusion, but kept up her pace. “I have a pager?”

Oh jeez. She’s practically sleep walking. Where is Dirk when you need him?

“Roxy do you have your phone in your backpack? Please say you have your phone in your backpack.”

She blinked a couple time as she concentrated on not falling and walking through the woods.

“Yeah, I put Hal in my backpack.”

John felt all his alarms go off. “You stole Hal from Dirk?!”

Roxy and Dirk only ever had one serious fight that he knew of, and it was probably a week after Dirk found out he accidentally created a sentient technical life-form. It was Roxy who convinced Dirk to keep Hal but only on the condition Dirk kept Hal’s main body, or mainframe. John isn’t sure how all of it works, but something about a kill switch or other.

“We’re here!” She smiled and opened her arms wide to showcase the fancy lid of a sewer.

“I have so many questions.” John said, as he dismounted his bike.

Roxy didn’t even comment as she knelt down to punch some numbers and the door opened like a cool spy movie effect. He would know from all those movies, he and his cousin Jake watched together.  

“Whoa!”

She looked up at John with renewed excitement in her eyes. “Come on white rabbit! Follow this cool cat into the mystery hole!” She laughed and pretty much jumped inside.

John unceremoniously dumped his bike on the grass and poked his head inside. “Are you okay?!” This question feels like it's going to be an ordinary conversation starter.

There were a few lights down there, but it was still dark compared to the bright morning so he could barely see her wave at him.

“I’m peachy keen, birthday boy!” she called and then told him to bring his bike with him. He struggled for a few minutes trying to lower the thing without dropping it on her face. Once he was sure she had it he let go and waited for her to tell him it was down and no bones were broken on her part.

John was once again amazed by the sewer door when it slowly closed after he climbed down the ladder. It was darker than the sun outside, but he could see clearly down the halls of, what he would dub a very fancy sewer. Roxy was already skating down the sidewalk. He once again called for her to wait for him, but of course she didn’t, only laughing for him to hurry up and he scrambled onto his bike.

The lights turning off behind him and on in front of them was pretty cool, if a little creepy and Roxy being a manic pixie sleepless genius wasn’t helping the atmosphere.

“Can you at least tell me where we are going?” His voice echoed in the empty underground. Roxy stops at the end of one of the hallways and points up a ladder on the wall.

“We’re going up here,” she smiles unhelpfully.

“Okay but you know what I mean wise guy--gal.” She’s still not taking you seriously as she already takes her skates off but nothing else and starts climbing. “Roxy, you’re not wearing any shoes!” He yells up at her and then immediately puts his hands over his eyes. He forgot he was still wearing his glasses and accidentally hurts his nose in shoving his hands on his face so he turns away. She is still wearing her long black stockings and a very short skirt.

He waits until he doesn’t hear her moving on the ladder anymore to peek up, but she’s already on the other side of the ladder, holding the door in place. “What are you waiting for? Another invitation? Come on!” So he does, but by this time his mind is on how to go through her backpack to get Hal.

All these thoughts are immediately put on hold when he reaches the top to find a crazy sci-fi filled room, with wires and pods and everything! He has to show Jake when he shows up, it is just like a set in Dr Who, or an engine room in one of the star trek episodes. Oh and he’ll bet Dirk would actually know what all these wires are for.

“Hey, Roxy. Do you think Dirk and Jake could talk to each other about all this junk?” John asked as he stepped near one of the weird cylinder pods to poke his head inside.

“Oh my god, John! That is the best idea,” she pulled her backpack off, presumably to contact mentioned people but in her haste she bumped into him making him step forward to avoid a foretold face plant. Cylinder pod doors closed on him. And he is stuck in a pod now.

“Um, Roxy,” John started “Is that supposed to happen?” He pressed his hand on the closed door and it didn’t automatically open, but a light beflow his feet lit up and a wind was picking up. “Roxy!” He banged a hand on the metal. But the only thing that happened was that the light became brighter and the wind was picking him up or something because suddenly he felt as light as a paper plane.  

He heard Roxy shout something but he just closed his eyes shut and all noises roared into his ears until it was silent and all of a sudden, all the weight in the world was on him.

Or maybe it’s cause he just fell onto a hard surface. “Ow!” He picked himself up, but everything felt a little weird, almost fuzzy. He thought maybe his glasses fell off because the ground in front of him didn’t look like ground, but more like it was slowly becoming the ground. Actually for a second, it looked like sand, but it got darker and turned dark blue. The dark, blue ground became harder until it was practically stone.

John looked up where he saw something shift and caught a light, blue glowing mushroom popping up from the ground. More glowing mushroom and more blue ground grew around him. The sky, which had been blindingly bright began to darken with heavy clouds. Everything the shadows touched became blue ground, there were even some gems in the ground now.

As he slowly stood up, he could see mountains in the distance, some that even touched the dark storm clouds. But again, the atmosphere was odd, it wasn’t humid or dry. The air, actually didn’t feel like anything, he moved his hands a little and he still couldn’t feel air on his skin. Actually he wasn’t breathing, but he didn’t feel like he needed to perform that automatic bodily function anyway. He also noticed he wasn’t hungry, though he missed breakfast and was sure all that biking wouldn’t help.

His clothes were not what he put on this morning. His shirt and pants were blue. A bright-blue symbol sat squarely on his chest instead of the ghostbuster symbol. And the longest hoodie he has ever seen, dragged on the ground as he turned around looking at himself and everything around him. His shoes were yellow.

[Whaaaat??] Even his voice wasn’t coming out correctly, on account of there was no air to use for vocal sounds. But a text box appeared above him saying what he wanted to say. At least his text wasn’t completely boring and came out in his signature blue. It then disappeared into pixels.

As if to answer his call, a few words in white, appeared above his head.

 

**Land of Wind and Shade**

**The World of Breath has been updated**

 

[That really doesn’t help me,] he said to no one in particular, but he felt it needed to be said. Other things were popping out of the ground. A nearby tube-shaped pipe grew out on a road near him so he walked toward it, seeing as one of those red flag thingies that come on mailboxes was attached to the grey tube. The flag was up, which meant mail was in it right?

He peeked inside and saw a note with a ghostbuster sticker on it so he took it out. On the other side of the note was writing.

John. It is Rose. 

The note disintegrated from his hand, but another tube mailbox appeared further down the road, with the mail flap up. He quickly bounded toward it only to find another note, this time with Rose’s favorite purple squid/skull on the back.  

John. I understand that what I am about to explain would sound nonsensical, but these are the events that had led me to viewing you on this very elaborate and intricate designed screen.

The note disintegrated again. He looked around, half expecting to see Rose’s giant face in the sky, but the scenery hadn’t changed. The clouds were still there, with fireflies in the area all around him. Maybe the fireflies are actually secret cameras. It was really hard to tell since they were so small and they weren’t really messing with him. Another mailbox appears down the road and he ran towards what seemed to be a way to communicate with one of his close friends.

[Rose?] he asked as he peeked into the mailbox. This time, there was a small notepad in the cylinder box. He took it out and every note he read was disintegrated. Rose wrote a lot, but this is normal Rose behavior.

Early this morning, Hal saw fit to make my computer and phone ring in a rambunctious and choreographed harmony. It was almost as if an alarming concert was being held except I was not informed I would be kidnapped to said event, from which the producers would have known in their bones that I would at no time attend willingly. Nevertheless, they needed a presence in this sudden performance even if it would be at the caricaturist nature of an irritated commentator.

Half of the notepaper was gone and John found himself rolling his eyes.

Since I was at a mercy of an unannounced event, to which I hand no notice beforehand, the conventional society rules to wait for the performance to cease would have to come to an abrupt stop at my demand. To my bafflement, it was our local cousin’s artificial intelligence twin, so to speak, behind this devious plot. I accused him, as any rudely awakened youth would, of participating in the, frankly dated, practical joke rituals.

[That’s your opinion Rose!] John called out and the text added an exclamation mark into his sentence.

As it turned out, he only had a few words of warning to leave me a very brief and cryptic message reading: Look for Roxy. I would think it was safe to assume I have found her, when following the sound of your voice outside campus, trailing behind her like a white rabbit is to an earlier planned event, of which he is awfully late to attend. 

All the note paper was gone and so was the rest of the notepad. Another mail pipe came up, about four and something feet away from him, so he made his way there. This time however, the pipe was much wider than the previous pipes which gave him a sinking feeling about the context of the delivered mail.

He was about to look inside the pipe when he saw a small, yellow-salamander creature. Actually it was about the size of a house cat, so it was fairly large for a salamander and it was standing on two legs, picking some of the glowing mushroom from a little mushroom patch. The salamander took it’s backpack off to try and hide away the already full backpack and after it struggled for a moment it opened its mouth and a giant saliva bubble came out. A text box appears when the saliva bubble popped.

[ **I can’t carry this in my bag anymore** ] The salamander made an excited movement when they saw the box and another saliva bubble popped. [ **Where did that thing come from?** ] One more text bubble appeared before the Salamander grabbed the text window and pulled it down. The text didn’t change as the Salamander pulled the text box down and examined the object, turning it this way and that before the Salamander tapped something on the back of the window and it changed.

The salamander popped another saliva bubble and a new text window, that wasn’t in their hands appeared above their head.

[ **I changed it into a captchalogue card! I can carry more mushrooms now!** ] And indeed, the text window the salamander held in their hands was now a white card inside a pink box with small white text on the bottom saying Captchalogue card. The salamander grabbed a glowing mushroom, put it near the card and the mushroom disappeared, with an image of it appearing on the card. The card was titled; mushroom.

When the salamander let go of the card, it hung in the air. John watched as it made one other card and then the cards were combined to make one card titled; mushrooms.

He peeked into the large mail pipe, his dread was well founded, since inside, he found a large book. The size of a library dictionary that are always on display.

[I am not going to read this,] He said and immediately grabbed the text box. On the back of the card were two buttons. It was pretty simple figuring out which one to pick.

Text box: Holds text.

Captchalogue card: Holds stuff.

Both of the buttons immediately disappeared when the card turned into a pink captchalogue card, instead there were funny colors and a weird, number and letter things on the back. John guessed there was no undoing this change. He flipped the card back around and grabbed Rose’s book only to make it disappear into the card. His new captchalogue card was titled: Rose’s adventures part 1.

[Wow, even the title of your things have long names.] John let go of the card and it floated to a corner of his peripheral vision, so that was convenient. Another pipe box at the bottom of some stairs popped up. [Ugh, this better not be another daunting text, Rose.] He grabbed that text box and turned it into another pink card, just in case he needed to captchalogue another thing.

But the impatient pipe box didn’t even wait until John was all the way to the bottom of the stairs before it flung the contexts out at him. He caught them, luckily, but it seemed to be more captchalogue cards, except they were titled Fetch Modus. Even this new item was too impatient to wait for him to examine it from top to bottom, because it immediately grabbed his empty captchalogue card and joined Rose’s book card at the top, like a demanding filing system. It even named itself; Stack Modus.

[Well, that was a pushy customer.]

Up ahead, he could see many large pipes, but they didn’t have the mailbox red flag on them, instead they had a bunch of grass-shaped roofs over them and little holes for doors and windows. Nearby what he was going to assume were houses, there were small stone and stick stands with shiny rocks, mail pipe parts and mushrooms.

[Rose, is this a game? Am I in a game right now?] It felt like he was because this place couldn’t be real. Nothing felt real exactly. There was definitely no such things as captchalogue cards in real life, can you imagine how handy those things would be? But that is besides the point, because at the moment, John just felt like he got ghost-busted into some kind of video game. Or maybe he could even go so far ast to use Jake’s reference of being Tronned into a digital world of some kind.

A small group of fireflies passed near his face so he swatted at them a little so they wouldn’t get into his eyes, but he forgot he still had his glasses on and that there was no air here. The fireflies flew around him in one easy movement and he saw as they flew to the west of the little Salamander village and into some weird, green-glowing trees. He followed after them, naturally.

On his way to wherever a horde of fireflies go, he saw a small salamander trying to fix a broken merchant stand. It looked like the tiny creature was trying to sell rocks, not the shiny ones, just regular rocks. There were several other tools on the ground.

John picked up the closest hammer.

[Maybe I can help. I’m good at wood shop classes.] John said and reached for a nail. The Salamander was still fussing with their wares and didn’t look at him.

[ **These woods were already crowded!** ]

In the true essence of any cliched video game, a small monster appeared to tear down whatever was left of the poor Salamander’s stand. Fast-paced music started to signal a fight would start. The monster looked like an amalgamation between a cat with bull horns, wings and spider webs coming out of its tiny claws. Spider webs were shot at the Salamander who deemed it appropriate to hide behind the still broken stall, but they finally noticed John and tossed something at him.

[ **You can’t fight like that! Take this!** ]

John didn’t have to bother and catch whatever it was because the item merged with his hammer and another digital-like card appeared next to his Fetch Modus; this one was green and titled: Strife Specibus, Hammerkind. Both of the new cards were now surrounded by a larger window titled; Sylladex. A little health bar appeared above John and the monster.

[Okay, I guess it’s time to strife!] He said and raised his tiny hammer. At least the monster was only, double his size, so this should be easy right? John was sent flying toward a tree right after he got a single hit on the monster. His little health bar got cut in half, and he felt his body pixelate for a second, which was the oddest feeling. It wasn’t dissimilar to being too light and not entirely there, but he was back after that second so he stood up again with his tiny hammer.

The tiny Salamander guy was throwing rocks, or wares at the giant while the fireflies were buzzing around the monster’s head, keeping attention away from John. He ran in and hammered away at the creature until all of the health bar disappeared into pixels. The monster turned into blocks of different colored pixels, actually no, they looked more like fruit gushers.

As soon as John waked near them, a temporary window appeared in front of him. The window told him how much of each different colored shapes he got, the text called it grist. There were two buttons that asked if he wanted to keep the grist or add it to the grist pile. He chose to keep it until he figured out what that meant.

There was another bright light behind him but since this time there was no strife music, he focused on collecting all the grist. When he looked up, the salamander’s stand was fixed and one or two other salamanders were in line to buy his rocks.

[ **I will always remember how a young hero passed through these parts and battled a horrible monster for my humble stall.** ] He gave a rock to the other salamander and the next one came up, asking about the story to be told again. Huh, it looks like this salamander actually tells stories and gives rocks as souvenirs, or something.

John found one of the rocks on the ground, but it wasn’t actually stiff, but rubbery. He dropped the item and it bounced right back up where he could catch it again. If he could color it green it would remind him of that one bouncy, monster chair he used to have as a little kid. Actually he wanted to try something.

He put the rubbery rock into his empty card and Rose’s book moved to the back of the stack. He then grabbed some of the glowing, green tree-bark stuff and added it to his cards. Since Rose’s book had nowhere to go, it got bumped out of his sylladex cards and just flew into the air.

[Whoops. Sorry, Rose.] The book flew so far, John couldn’t even see where it landed. But now he had a card that had glowing stuff and a rubber rock. The sylladex window had options of combining cards so he did that and now he had one card with a glowing rubber rock. Now, if only it was bigger.

He turned the card and with all the crazy colors and squiggly lines on the back it was hard to read the code, but he read it out loud and then caught the text box to make another captchalogue card. Before he got done with the card, an odd piano-looking instrument fell near him. The item wasn’t damaged but he was a bit startled, to which another text box appeared over his head with the word: shout pole

It had a note on it with Rose’s signature color. There was writing on the front and back.

This is a Designix. There are two other machines that can help you design better equipment for fighting monsters, but you need to collect more grist and different card codes. Also, I forgive you for the book, as it appeared to be an accidental shooting through space and little you could do about it anyway. Perhaps it will deteriorate into more useful code or someone else will see fit to grab a hot tea and read the contents. 

The note disintegrated and John got working on making the coolest hammer in this weird video game place. If he had to be stuck in a game for an indiscernible amount of time, might as well have the best equipment available.

Time flew, as it does when you play video games, that is, way too fast when he knew he probably missed piano classes. He found himself at least a little happy this weird reality didn’t let him feel hungry for the tenth time, but who's counting?

By the time he’d gotten a butt-load of grist, the other two item designing objects, and several more notes from Rose about what the items do and how to use them, he figured out how to keep in constant contact with Rose. John used the Designix to punch holes in cards, then combine a few to make a new and improved, shiny-bouncy hammer! He also made a pesterlog device with a copy of his glasses, a helmet, other random objects and Rose’s notes.

tentacleTherapist [TT] began trolling  ectoBiologist [EB]  
  
TT: The processing functions on this particular video pastime is both exceedingly simple to follow and overly complicated in a dual fashion.  
EB: i think you mean slightly tedious but fun to do?  
TT: That is what I was saying John.  
EB: you know i’m still stuck in this weird video game on accident right?   
EB: that hasn’t stopped being a thing.  
EB: what time is it even and how did you get to where you can contact me?  
EB: what happened to roxy?  
TT: All these questions I have answered within that book that was sorely misplaced but I will try to keep this short and brief, as has been the constant criticism in many a essay I have recently submitted. I cannot say I will bend to the complacent rules of standardized testing or school programming, but seeing as we are good friends, John, I will make an exception.   
EB: aww  
TT: In order,  
TT: Yes I do know you are entrapped in an artificial reality more or less by accident which had been created by our missing guardians.  
TT: It is currently ten in the morning so I imagine you have missed a few classes.  
EB: darn  
TT: Hal managed to alert me of Roxy’s unusual behavior before she abducted him against his will and I would imagine, her better judgment. I will raise this point on account that, according to Hal she has missed more than seventy-two hours of sleep.   
TT: Of course I have lost no such hours and thus heard you announcing your growing concern for her misjudged actions near my dormitory. So naturally, I pursued on account of two alarming signs.   
EB: naturally. :B  
TT: Percicley.  
TT: It was hardly difficult discerning what encrypted code may lead me down the thinly veiled “rabbit hole” so to speak, due to my dear cousin stating it loudly before you both dove into the abyss of unknown horrors.  
EB: it was a cool sewer!  
TT: Giving chase on a yellow-lit road was a simple matter, but then I found myself slightly perplexed at finding Roxy, half-asleep, and weakly banging in one of the four metal transportalizers. And this is nothing compared to what came next.  
EB: figuring out how to get in contact with a disappeared friend?  
TT: Oh no, John.   
TT: It was rather simple with a basic knowledge of coding and some partially constructed help from a sleep deprived computer hacker.   
TT: The difficult part was trying to figure out the socially acceptable norm for behaving near a three-yeared, deceased alien young woman. She was straightforward enough in her communication about the events unfolding to you, John, and how the inner machinations functioned. However, she seemed to be at a loss about how to properly experience the monumental moment of having an interspecies relationship.  
TT: Seeing as this was a historic moment, I supposed it was up to me for the new social rules. An event necessary for future generations to come. In the end, I addressed her as one would any previously-alive being. That is, with a formal greeting, a question as to how her twenty-four hours are transpiring and if she were to be terribly bothered for a future questionnaire on all matters undead.  
TT: She and I quote [d0 n0t care either way]  
TT: A more opportune event couldn’t have landed more squarely on my lap, John.  
EB: you met a ghost!!??  
TT: Quite.  
EB: and it was a girl?? and she was an alien??  
EB: that’s amazing, rose! was she also ghost-busted into this video game too??   
EB: will i meet her?  
TT: I imagine eventually, you may.  
TT: Now, about Roxy.  
TT: Oh.  
EB: what is it? is she okay?  
TT: Well you see, earlier, I had her lead me to this intricate computer room after which insisted she lay down so that she may babble endlessly in order to tire herself out and eventually slumber. I’m told this is how you deal with crying toddlers.  
EB: so she’s sleeping on the floor nearby?  
TT: She was.  
TT: I took my eyes off her sleeping body for a moment to address the paranormal conundrum and now she is no longer there, though I haven’t heard the elevator make any sort of noise.   
TT: Give me a moment and I will take another look around.  
  
tentacleTherapist [TT] became an idle chum

John sighs and taps the holographic keyboard to minimize, but not close. He felt fairly safe in the temporary fort he made near the rubber-rocks salamander, who now has more stories to tell, since he cleared most of the area from monsters. He liked sitting on the roof, just in case he could spot monsters and more grist is always a good thing. He now had several hammers as weapons, each one more powerful and ridiculous looking than the last, it made him grin. Maybe he should do inventory while he waited.

Arms grabbed him from behind and he’s not too ashamed to admit he squealed out of utmost horror! But then he got a really quick kiss on his cheek, which barely felt like anything in this crazy place. He reached up for the arms embracing him just as she started giggling. He only knew she was giggling because the text appeared in front of him.

[Hi, John! I’m so glad you’re okay! ] Roxy smiled wide and nuzzled herself on his neck. [ I thought it was my fault you disappeared, I’m so sorry] and now she looked like she was on the verge of crying.

Wow, Rose wasn’t kidding about the crying thing.

[Rose, I found her. Or I guess she found me.] He said and she noticed the text above his head, so she jumped up and snatched the thing. He looked up at her and saw that her clothes had also changed. Her clothes were also blue, but much darker than his. The symbol on her shirt looked like a disconnected dark spiral with a lot of empty space in the middle. She wore a mask, a tight hoodie and gloves. Like a racoon maybe.

Just in case Rose was still away from the computer, he sent her a pesterlog. When he checked on Roxy again, she had already figured out captchalogue cards and was making her own Fetch Modus. Welp. She wasn’t called a genius-hacker for nothing.

That was as far as they got however, because the world shook. The sky vibrated and cracked, revealing lights of every color.

Roxy was by John’s side in an instant. She didn’t have weapons, unlike John who had automatically held his hammer, but she held her fists up ready for anything.

A new pesterlog opened up in front of them along with a glitching image of a girl with glowing white eyes.

apocalypseArisen [AA] opened memo: m0ve if y0u want t0 live   
  
AA: the villains 0f this game are awake thanks t0 y0ur meddling  
AA: they are currently being difficult

Another window opened another window with an image of Rose attacking and being attacked by the same monsters John had been fighting not too long ago. Rose is lucky she brings her knitting needles everywhere or else she might have been seriously hurt. As it stands, the computer room is being well defended. No one is safe when she uses those sharp, metal recreational-clothes-builder as weapons.

[Whoo! Go Rose!] Roxy leaned on John as she cheered Rose on.

[Is this happening everywhere?]

AA: yes  
AA: in 0rder t0 fix everything y0u need t0 reset t0 the last saved p0int in the game  
AA: since s0llux is still rec0vering y0u will have t0 reset it manually  
AA: i have arranged f0r s0meone t0 pick y0u up s00n  
apocalypseArisen [AA]  closed the memo 

And by soon, she probably meant immediately. The memo screen faded to reveal a person approaching them in a tiny red and yellow vehicle. Or maybe the vehicle was a chair...with rockets on the back? The person inside waved at them and their vehicle changed into more of a car, or at least the same rocket-chair but with three more seats on it.  
[Get on, uh, please,] The person driving was a boy who looked a lot like the grey-skinned girl. Instead of having spiraling horns, his were very long and shaped like bull’s horns. His irises were dark grey, pupils black and the rest of his eye was yellow, the same color as the tips of his horns.  
He had the same bright-blue, squiggly insignia that John had, except with a much shorter hood, which didn’t cover his mohawk, currently, and a short cape. They could barely see his legs, because it seemed like he was wearing...underwear. They would be generous and think it more as superhero speedos.  
John and Roxy looked at each other for a second before both jumped onto seats without a word. The silence only lasted a second because Roxy was all about the secrets.

[Wow, your horns are long! Are all your guys horns different? Where did you get this sweet ride? Can I cav--have one too? Where are we going now?] She yacked at the seat right next to him and the guy sadly looked more nervous with each question.

[Uh,]

[Roxy, give the guy some room to breathe, maybe?] John suggested.

[Oh right! Dirky is always telling me it’s dangerous to backseat drive,] She did back off but not before she patted the poor guy’s shoulder as an apology.

[uM, uH,] Now he looked distinctly uncomfortable as he too leaned away from her, but so did the rest of the rocket car.

Everyone started screaming for different reasons; Roxy lifted both hands and thought the experience was not unlike a roller-coaster, John grabbed the back of the bull-boy’s seat and screamed he should’ve used a turn signal, and the boy was pretty much apologizing all the way down.

The ghost girl was seeing this from a digital window.

She decided it was stupid and sent a message to the other planet that was awake. Another grey-skinned boy, whose attire was similar to John’s but with Roxy’s colors and symbols. He was currently busy but since she insisted that this was much more important, he disappeared, only to reappear behind the spiraling vehicle, touch it and also make that disappear and reappear in front of a large land filled with skyscraper-sized musical box stuff and clear crystals. He then promptly disappeared to go do what he had been so rudely interrupted in doing.

[Oh, we’re here.]

The bull-horned boy adjusted the car speed and angle while John and Roxy take in the sights. They don’t have a lot of time to enjoy anything since the sky cracks more and it feels like the whole place vibrates so loud that even their forms and the vehicle’s structure shift for a moment. The effect seemed to cause them damage to their health and the alien boy ended up crashing onto the ground, right next to some giant doors encased in crystal.

[we have to get inside and uh, I can’t really walk since before my world was paused] the alien boy rubbed his head in embarrassment [put in the code for um, Aradia can, ]

[Oh, I’m good with codes! ] Roxy bent down to help pick up the alien boy, except she spotted one of those weird monsters behind a few crystals, [ Oh em gee! What are those?]

[They’re bad guys Roxy, but they give you some sweet loot.]

[We should really get in the building,]

[Okay! In the building it is, bull boy!]

[My name is Tavros, uh, Nitram. I probably should’ve mentioned that, I think.]

[Alright Tavros Nitram, my name is Roxy Lalonde and this is John Egbert! It’s his birthday today. And you seem to know what you’re doing, you get to be the leader for now. Let’s go!] Roxy pumped her fist up and then took the timid alien away from the broken rocket-chair. John knew she was strong enough to do it by herself so he ran ahead to see if he could get the door open somehow. But when he reached out to touch the crystallized doors, his hands phased right through. He turned around to tell the group, but only had enough time to see a monster quickly approaching Roxy and Tavros.

[Watch out!]

Roxy also turned around and saw a giant monster approaching her with a huge chunk of quartz. The monster was already lifting the weapon to smash them. She was only a couple steps away from the crystallized doors so she made a snap decision and tossed Tavros at John. The momentum sent both of the boys through the fake door, but not before John saw Roxy disintegrating like all those text boxes and notes by Rose. He fell on his butt, underneath Tavros’ dead weight but quickly scrambled to get back up and try and get through the doors again. Except, there were no doors, there was only one cylinder-type wall all around them.

John touched the wall just in case it let him pass again but no, it was solid.

[Why do I keep on getting trapped in these things?] He was starting to get upset at the fact that his words didn’t come with much of a tone, because again, there was no air here.

A large vibration shook John away from the wall and he remembered there were giant monsters out there breaking stuff, so he took a couple steps back toward Tavros.

[Um, sorry but Sollux programmed this tower to lock if there were monsters attacking the, um, the building ] Tavros looked from John to the wall. [ I’m sorry about your friend, uh, too]

[What happened to her?]

Before Tavros could answer, a large screen behind them flickered into a bright existence and caught their attention. The ghost girl was there. She raised a hand.

[Um, hello, Aradia.] Tavos waved at her, but she had only made another screen appeared, showing slightly glitching images of the room with the cylinders again. Two of the four pods had closed doors until one of them opened and Roxy stumbled out, gasping like she couldn’t breathe. She kneeled on the floor and them flopped down, instantly falling asleep.

[Oh, I guess she’s still tired.]

Aradia pulled up another window, this time with Rose fighting again, but she was wearing Hal’s shades for some reason. She looked like she was talking but kept fighting the monsters at the same time. The monsters kept popping out, one of them found the ladder that would lead to the bottom floor. It wouldn’t be long before they found her. A third window popped up and they saw a figure in the sewers running really fast with a sword. Sometimes the figure slashed at random monsters in his way.

John squinted and walked closer.

[That’s Dirk! I bet Rose managed to contact him through Hal. He’s probably coming to help us.]

Tavros couldn’t see the screens very well due to being on the floor, but he didn’t seem as optimistic.

[He might not get here in time. You should um, put in the code, or]

[I don’t know codes too well. I mean I tried learning one time, but]

The world shook again and they both retained more damage.

[You could actually, uh ] Tavros spoke first after they have gotten the last of the shocking glitches out of their system. He pointed up, toward a large platform, where the largest crank to tighten the music-boxy-building spring was held. [ Do it manually, maybe.]

John squinted at the platform and held his hammer out. The music crank was really high up, he wouldn’t be able to jump that high, or climb fast enough to get there. Who designed this building? But one look at the screens told him he didn’t have enough time to unpack all of that. It felt like everything was about to burn down around him, figuratively speaking.

If only he could blow it away, like he was supposed to blow the candles on his cake today.

John took a deep breath, except, oh actually, he DID take a deep breath! And this time when he breathed out, actual air came out of his mouth. The air kept coming out and pretty soon there was a small breeze around him and Tavros.

[Oh, I uh, forgot what the air felt like, ] Tavroz looked around and then at his hands in amazement, [ Um, I think I can get you up there, maybe] Before John could ask any questions, Tavroz raised both of his hands, unleashing the largest and strongest gust of wind John had ever felt. The breeze was so powerful, in fact that it blew John, completely past the platform.

[Uh, oh!] John could only raise his hammer as he started to descend and hoped he would be able to hit the handle in the right direction.

Below, Tavros had managed to unleash so much air that he had pushed himself up high enough to see some of the screens. The Rose human was pinned to the ground, a pair of sharp-looking glasses were cracked. In another screen, Roxy was still asleep and a monster was about to attack her. A new boy had just managed to open the sewer door to that room.

A hammer hit the handle and the loudest vibration shook all their worlds.

 

John woke up with a headache in the morning. Having spent all their non-class hours yesterday keeping Dirk busy, he had to stay up extra late last night helping his dad decorate his house for his birthday.

Wait.

John quickly rubbed his eyes clean and looked for his glasses. It was barely seven so he only overslept about ten minutes. 

“Whaaaat?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If y'all wanna ask questions ye can pass me a note at http://tophatbigpencil.tumblr.com/ but make sure your teacher doesn't catch ya.


	4. And Promises to Keep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for glitchy memory and blood!

Black

Nothing.

He doesn’t remember what breathing felt like.

He doesn’t remember the texture of his black sweater.  
  
He doesn’t remember how the moon’s rays looked if they crossed each other. How does the wind make the grass outside look almost safe to leave his front door.

He doesn’t remember time.

[hey kk]

He don’t recognize this text but his mind understands it after a second. Stupid computer systems. And what kind of name is KK?  
  
[ii know ii promised two unfreeze you when ii got the chance, ii 2tiil will, but iit might take 2ome out2iide help.]

Oh that’s right. It was said to him at some point. Remembering is hard. He thinks he was mad at him. For...something?

Mad?

[that’2 probably not what you want two hear. II can iimagiine you biitchiing about iit already.]

He was mad. That sounds right.

[you aren’t really awake now. Thiis ii2 ju2t a 2mall time bubble aa helped me code because of 2henaniigan2 wiith aliiens2 and they could po22iibly help get u2 out of here]

Aliens? He met one before. He--we?  
  
[2orry ii diidn’t add a feature where you can chew my head off, but there are two good rea2ons for thiis]

There are always two things with this doofus.

[one, you can’t chew my head off, two thii2 weiird tiime bubble let2 me download whatever iinformatiion you got from that fiir2t aliien we met. II wanted two have 2omethiing ready for when the other aliien2 a2k for proof. All you have two do ii2 thiink about what he gave you and ii’ll catch what ii can]

He remembers--

[II’m goiing two clear 2ome of the 2tatiic 2ince ii also have a memory of thii2. II want you two focu2 on what2 in your hand ]

The alien died didn’t he? The alien died.

There was so much blood. It was bright red.

[ your hand kk. Focu2 on what the aliien gave you]

He can’t hold the memory anymore. He can’t. He can’t.

[you diid great kk, ii got ju2t enough for 2ome iinformatiion two piiece together]

 He wishes he could breathe. KK is still a stupid name. It’s missing letters.  
  
[ there ii2 2tiill 2ome tiime before you’re frozen again, 2o, ii’ll 2how you what ii wa2 able two get]

Why the hell not? Might as well see what the blistering fuck this entire headache was about, especially since he can’t actually say no! Why can’t I speak again? Oh that’s right! Sollux couldn’t find it in his busy schedule to add that feature to this one-way street! I never wished to yell so much!

 An image appeared.

There was that alien again, except this was his face. Well, most of his face, his eyes were half hidden in black eyewear. He wore a shirt with a ridiculous amount of crudely drawn apples. He cleared his throat and smirked.

Oh it’s not an image.  
  
“Against better judgement,” the alien said, and he thought the alien almost sounded like that when he met him, but at that time, the alien’s voice was worse, “I’ve decided to make an informal log of this trip to appeal to the masses. The masses in this case being our cool children, so they know the really important stuff going on in this ship. Like whether or not I can get Roxanne to help me program a meme generator.”  
  


Black.

Nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mew, well this was a short one but images!


	5. Happy Birthday--I mean, wait, this happened before.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk wakes up to an upset Roxy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 413 my peeps

Dirk felt like he was having a nightmare, but all he really remembers is the feeling of dread, of having to reach something or someone before it's too late. He did not expect to be woken up by a crying Roxy so early in the morning, but after mumbling questions to no change in her crying he began to focus faster than normal. He hugged her quickly and tried to speak coherently in order to reassure her.

“I messed up. I messed up so bad Dirk,” half of her words were muffled in his now, tear-stained undershirt, but she kept repeating herself so he didn’t have to guess what she was saying. The only thing that came to mind was that she had started drinking again. It was a hard habit for her to kick, but she wanted to break it as soon as she found out that Rose had also started drinking.

It had been one of the few times he was able to stop looking for their guardians and focus on something else, at least for a month and a half. If it was that then they can get through it again.

“Dirk, I’m so sorry!” She kept sobbing, but now that he was looking for it, she didn’t smell like alcohol. It was a little dark to be able to tell properly but she didn’t look like she slept much. So she was probably doing something else yesterday.

“Roxy, what happened? What are you sorry for?” He asked and began to sit up. His head didn’t like that very much, but his head was just going to have to deal with it until his priorities were settled. Roxy didn’t resist too much as he gently pulled her off him so he could properly look at her face.

Her mascara was running, she looked pale and tired, there was some snot on her top lip and she cringed as she bowed her head.

“I took Hal away from you and I think he got cracked, Rose said so on the intercom, or maybe it was the ghost who told me before I passed out. I don’t remember.”

Some of what she said didn’t make sense but Dirk latched onto Hal’s information and felt like his heart dropped to his stomach. He automatically looked up at his desk where he usually kept Hal’s shades, but they were still there. He began to move out of bed but Roxy resisted a little.

“No Dirk wait. Are you going to hate me forever? I promised I wouldn’t take them without permission, I don’t know what I was thinking, I was wrong--”

“Roxy, let me check on him first.” He felt like it was years of forcing himself not to laugh or emot at his guardian's shenanigans that probably let him speak clearly. Hal was supposed to be their responsibility, they promised they wouldn’t destroy him, that they wouldn’t hurt him and let him live. And yes Hal could be an asshole, but he didn’t deserve this.

“W-what if he doesn’t turn o-on?” her voice, on the other hand, wobbled as she tried to hold in another sob. Roxy still wouldn’t let Dirk go, her grip tightened on his arms, but she did turn around to look at the shades.

Two red lights, one for each eye of the shades glow bright.  
Hal is on.

Roxy lets go of Dirk to cover her mouth and takes in a deep breath. Dirk lets out a breath he’s been holding and quickly makes his way to the AI’s shades. He picks them up carefully and doesn’t see any cracks, with only the light of Hal’s glow, so he turns on a desk lamp to double check. There are no cracks.

“Roxy, he’s fine.” The words just barely leave his mouth before she bounds to them. Her hands are shaking, so he doesn’t let go of the shades as she does her own once-over at the clear, black glass. Dirk uses a free hand to tap on his computer’s keyboard and wake the monitor. A pesterchum window is already opened.

autonomicResponder [AR] began trolling  timaeusTestified [TT]  
  
AR: Dirk, Roxy hasn’t slept all night and I think she said something about picking me up.  
AR: Damn you’re asleep and your computer is also asleep.  
AR: This is why you should reconnect the sound system in your computer again. It wasn’t my fault I didn’t know the range of those vibrations would hurt your ears. I don’t have ears and you hadn’t let me on the internet yet.  
AR: I may have to use somebody else’s speakers.   
AR: Rose might forgive me if I owe her a favor.

Those were older messages, the newer ones were tinted in red.

AR: What is she talking about?  
AR: I’m not cracked!  
AR: I’m right here!  
AR: Dirk!  
AR: Turn your monitor ON already!  
TT: I’m here. You are not cracked.   
TT: You’re fine, Hal.  
AR I already know I’m fine. You haven’t moved my shades since yesterday morning. What is wrong with Roxy?

At that, Dirk looked away from the monitor and at Roxy who had been reading over his shoulder. She backed away when he turned and covered her face again.

“Oh god! He’s fine. He’s okay. Oh god. Okay,” she kept mumbling to herself as she stepped all the way back to Dirk’s bed and sat down. Dirk debated about setting Hal’s shades back down, but in the end, put them on and went to turn on his lights before walking to Roxy. No sooner was he in front of her that she stood up quickly again. A newfound fear in her eyes.

“John! John is stuck in a video game!” She looked like she was about to leave, but Dirk stopped her.

“Wait. Sit down real quick and breathe for a moment. Hal would you pester John for me? He stayed at his dad’s house last night, thanks.” A small window at the corner of the shades popped up a pesterlog with Dirk, Hal and John. Dirk minimized it on the shades to focus on lightly pressing Roxy’s shoulders so she would sit down again. “Hal will check on John, okay Roxy.”

She nodded and didn’t take her eyes off the monitor.

“Did you sleep last night?” Dirk asked as he brushed some her pink hair away.

“I did a little bit I think when I got out of the pod after that monster squashed me, but I probably ruined John’s birthday. It was my fault that he got stuck in there in the first place,” she probably would have kept going, but she wasn’t making any sense. She usually only sometimes makes sense when she doesn’t get enough sleep, but never this badly. Dirk wasn’t sure how worried he should be yet, but it was definitely reaching 40%.

“Roxy, you didn’t ruin John’s birthday. The day just started and we’re not supposed to celebrate until tonight. We haven’t even seen him in class yet.” He checked her forehead. She was a little warm, but not fever warm. She probably just needed to sleep, but with some food first.

“No but, yesterday was his birthday.” Roxy frowned and tilted her head as she recalled whatever she was talking about, “I got him to follow me to the sewer. His dad was making pancakes and they smelled really good but I was just so excited to show him this secret lab for his birthday and a bunch of stuff happened,” she stopped when Dirk started shaking his head. “That was yesterday, right? Today is the 14th?”

Dirk shook his head again and Roxy covered her face to shake her own head.

Hal maximized the pesterlog window.

autonomicResponder [AR] opened memo: Are you stuck in a virtual world? Call your doctor about side effects.

autonomicResponder [AR] added and ectoBiologist [EB] to the chat  
EB: oh my god hal, how did you know?  
AR: Please Egbert, I am just trying to confirm your current status. Let us take this seriously.  
EB: it’s kinda hard to know when to take you serious, especially when you open a memo with a joke. :B  
AR: Let’s just say that we are having a bit of a situation and some levity makes things lighter if they are bad and ridiculous if they aren’t. So logically, the memo title is a safe designation.  
EB: lol, whatever you say hal.  
EB: but i was being serious, how did you know i was trapped in a virtual world?  
EB: my dad told me happy birthday and i was confused cause i thought my birthday was yesterday since a lot of stuff happened after Roxy came over and kinda snatched me.   
AR: She did?  
EB: yeah!   
EB: and actually she snatched you too. your glasses i mean  
EB: then i got stuck in a tube and then rose showed up, i met an alien and a ghost and a tiny lizard  
TT: None of what you’re saying makes any sense.  
TT: Today is your birthday. Hal is okay and you are obviously not trapped in a cylinder.  
TT: Happy birthday by the way.  
EB: thanks, dirk!  
EB: but maybe its weird because i reset the game?  
TT: This  
TT: None of this makes sense.  
TT: What game?  
TT: It’s like you’re talking about Jumanji.  
AR: I know what they’re talking about.  
AR: Egbert, we can talk later.   
EB: alright, if you see Roxy maybe get her to sleep or something.  
EB: she was acting weird yesterday, or i mean today?  
EB: my yesterday, your guy’s today

autonomicResponder [AR] blocked ectoBiologist [EB]from chat

AR: Roxy and I found something the other day.  
AR: When you promised to stop looking for them.  
AR: She found something, but it might have been nothing.  
AR: Except it wasn’t

Dirk didn’t bother to type. Instead he stood up and blinked a couple times. Roxy was now leaning into her palms, elbows on her knees. She might fall asleep soon if what they’re saying about her not getting any rest is still true.

“Roxy,” he began, careful with his tone and she made a sound that she was listening but didn’t move, “Hal says you found something when I stopped looking.” He wasn’t sure what kind of answer he expected from her, he already had confirmation.

She let out a heavy breath and whimpered. “I messed up.”

Dirk walked away from her toward his computer. “Hal show me what you found.”

His computer screen opened pesterchum to the current memo.

AR: Roxy has most of the information on her computer

“Don’t play with me right now. I know you can get that information.” His throat was feeling a little tight. He might be sounding angry right now. “What did you find.”

AR: That would be a breach of privacy

“Hal.” And now he sounded cold. His hands were clenching and he wasn’t sure if he was about to hit something. The desk maybe. He didn’t want to have to buy a new computer.

“It’s okay Hal. He can see it.” Roxy said.

Dirk clenched his jaw. He wasn’t going to bother looking at her in this moment.

Hal seemed like he was downloading some information.

AR: It may take a few minutes.

Dirk took in a breath and looked down at his keyboard. He kept blinking a couple times. Breathe in. Breath out. Breath in.

“I’m sorry Dirk, but it could have been nothing and I didn’t want you to get your hopes up.”

Breathe out.

“You’ve been losing a lot more sleep than I did and Hal said you were going to get sick again if you kept doing it. You weren’t eating enough and you know how you get.” Her voice squeaked in the middle.

Breathe in. His eyebrows furrowed. Breathe out. The loading screen was barely at 50%. There couldn’t be that much information could it? Hal could be messing with him. It’s not unusual.

“So when you finally agreed to stop, it was--”

Dirk slammed his fists on the desk. The screen went up to 51% and Hal was definitely interfering with the loading data. He’s on her side.

TT: I hate you.  
AR: I can deal with that.  
TT: I know what you’re doing.  
AR: Great minds Dirk.   
AR: We’re not so different.  
AR: And I believe there was some breathing you need to do.

Dirk hissed and began pacing his carpet. He kept his eyes on his bare feet.

“Dirk,” Roxy began.

He shook his head and kept pacing. Roxy stayed quiet but that lasted thirty seconds.

“All we found was a machine they made in secret. It fell into a secret building. I found it and there are beings stuck inside the machine.”

Dirk’s quick pace slowed down only a fraction, but he didn’t stop.

“One of the beings told me and Hal that they were aliens and they might know what happened to our guardians, but I don’t think we’ll see them again, Dirk. They said a lot of people died.”

Dirk stopped pacing and only focused on breathing and blinking. He slowly looked over at Roxy. Her hands were on her lap, twisting at her fingers. She was biting her lip and though her eyes were leaking with fresh tears, she was looking at him.

“Were you going to tell me?” He asked. His voice sounded a little rough. Not as cold as before, but not happy either. “Before this, where going to tell me?” His fists were clenched again, but he wasn’t going to hit her. He would never hit her. He would rather skewer his own dick first.

She stood up with what he was going to register as surprise on her face and he automatically took a step back. He might run away actually. His peripheral vision told him his door was partially open, so it wouldn’t take too much time to leave the room.

“Yes,” Roxy sobbed, she looked like she was going to say more, but he talked over her.

“When?” He asked and some of the relaxed muscle tensed up again. “John said you went to his house. I don’t understand what this is about, the having an extra day pass somewhere, but did I know? Did you mention it then?” A thought occurred to him. “You took Hal.” He remembered Hal’s earlier message. “He said he was going to tell Rose.” This all sounds impossible and ridiculous, but he still wanted to know if she ever told him, even if the whole thing was a weird dream.

Based on the confused look on her face he was reminded that she wasn’t her usual self and everything is stupid. Yet when she took another step forward he stepped back and shook his head.

“Nevermind. I need to think and you need to sleep.” Another deep breath. Another step back. “I’m taking Hal. I’ll see you at lunch.” And he walked out, deeply glad she didn’t try to stop him.

“Hal would you,” he asked as he started heading toward some stairs.

AR: I already messaged Rose. She is on her way to Roxy.

Breathe out. Minimize Pesterlog window. Open the door to the roof. Stop.

Someone was already on the roof, clinging to the wire fence, looking out at the forest. Dirk blinked just in case he was still not fully awake. But he really was fully awake, on account of...all those shenanigans.

Dave was in a bright red hoodie, black jeans, and red sneakers. Which reminded Dirk he was still wearing his sweatpants and sleeping shirt with a unicorn icon. Oh and he wasn’t wearing socks. The ground here is smooth cement, so it wouldn’t be too bad anyway.

Dave turned around when he heard the door open and Dirk could see a crow poking its head through the fence. Dave had a piece of bread in his other hand.

“I caught you bread-handed Dave.” Dirk said nonchalantly as he walked towards him. At least his voice didn’t sound too bad anymore.

The crow cawed and took a huge chunk of the bread away from Dave’s hand, pecking him in the process before it jumped off the fence and flew into the forest. Dave shook his hand out, but miraculously kept the stoic look on his face. Dirk realized that he hadn’t had much of a chance to ask if he was practicing for most stoic face in his home too. He had made himself too busy.

“Just cuz you got up at godawful hours in the morning to catch the ever elusive DJ Strider, doesn’t mean you gotta snitch dog.” Dave lazily put both hands in his hoodie. As if he couldn’t care less if Dirk saw him randomly feeding stray birds.

“This is true.” Dirk stood next to him and looked out at the forest. He sat down. “Can’t say the same about Hal. He could have recorded that bird getting away with illegal contraband in high definition.”

“Wow, Hal’s with you?” Dave sat down next to him, it might have been a little awkward since he didn’t pull his arms out to keep him balanced, but at least he stayed committed to sitting down with both hands occupied. “That doesn’t happen very often.”

“You don’t seem worried about him outing you.”

“Oh I’m sure he’ll use this as blackmail material sometime, but Hal is my bro and would never throw me to the authorities. Friends and family are another business tho.”

“You saying dark secrets stay in the family?”

“Isn’t that what dysfunctional relationships are all about? Have you never been dragged into watching a teen angst drama where every family member has some dirt on each other and will ruthlessly poke thorns at their victims in order to bend them to their will? But the only time they go to the authorities is when they either fear or understand they have no control over that person anymore.”

“Who fed you these poignant obscurities about personal ties, cliche-ed and shoehorned to death in ninety-eight percent of our streaming entertainments.”

“Heh. You say that like you’ve actually dipped deep into your irony dish and watched some them.”

“Maybe ironically, with Roxy and...with D.”

It became silent for a minute.

“Rose also called them over-acting, oversimplifications, and in-your-face, stereotypical families. But I had more fun watching them with Roxy. I mean, it was less analytical with her, but definitely ironic with Bro.” Dave’s voice dipped into a quieter tone.

Dirk kind of wanted to ask Dave if he missed his Bro. Their guardians weren’t technically their parents. It was something he discovered half a year ago with Roxy. But it didn’t matter, they were their parents at heart. He never thought less of anyone else for giving up, but he just couldn’t.

Even with the new information from Roxy and eventually Hal, Dirk was sure none of them were going to see their guardians again. But he needed to know what happened.

“We didn’t spend a lot of time watching rom coms so it was mostly when I visited Rose and watched it with Roxy. Maybe we can get back into that later.” Dave leaned back on his arms.

Dirk kept his hands on his lap, a tense frown formed.

“Did she tell you?” He asked.

Dave cocked his head to the side. “What do you mean?”

“That...she found something…” Dirk wasn’t sure if he should elaborate. He wasn’t even sure what he was looking for at this point. Something more to accuse her with? Something more to be mad at her about? What would that accomplish?

“Uh, are you okay?” Dave shifted and Dirk didn’t look to see if it was toward him or away from him. He didn’t know how he would handle either reaction.

“I don’t know. No. Probably not.” Dirk slouched forward, a little closer to just curling up and maybe skip the morning classes today. He could forge a sick note if he had to, but D would be disappointed in him for missing the classes. He took in a sharp breath to chase away the feeling that threatened to have him cry.

A small beep sounded to his side and Dirk peeked to see Dave checking his phone. The kid’s poker face was nowhere near the level his Bro’s was or even Dirk’s is at times, but just from the fact that he had it on told Dirk that he’d read something he needed to hide a reaction. Hal or Rose might have told him everything.

Another small spark of irritation squeezed his chest as Dirk decided to instead focus on looking at the changing colors of the morning sun. The information had probably finished loading on his computer since Hal got him to leave it alone and Rose was most-likely in his room with Roxy by now. If Roxy was sleeping Rose could be looking at the information.

Everyone would know about what was going on before him. He would be left in the dark and it wasn’t fair!

Another sharp breath.

There was more movement from Dave but Dirk kept his eyes on the way the breeze shifted the leaves on trees. He needed to relax his hands from constantly being fists.

“You and Roxy are fighting?” Dave asked but it wasn’t the real question.

“We sure aren’t holding hands, Dave.” Dirk sighed.

He could hear Dave fidgeting with his phone until he put it face-down on the cement.

“Does that mean you’re not coming to John’s birthday tonight?”

Dirk didn’t answer so Dave kept talking. “Y’know because I was also thinking about not going. It’s too homey right? Everyone is going to be all up on each other’s business and gossiping and trying to ignore all the bad feelings. Nobody is going to be talking about it, just kind of shoving it under the rug or in a closet like skeletons y’know. It’s gonna be a regular episode of family drama. The critics are going to tear us to shreds man, we ran right into all the cliches. No one will escape the reviews.”

If Dirk didn’t say anything Dave was just going to keep going until his rant ended so far off topic, not even a map could save them.

“Not going to drop off the present?” Dirk asked.

Dave seemed to be mentally tripping and hastily catching himself, evident by the nodding and shaking of his head. Also, by the way he started saying something and then mumbled for a couple seconds.

“Of course I’m going to drop off a present. It’s John’s birthday and his dad makes the best cake. I’m sure Jane will bring some hand-made sweets too. Oh god I hope she brings some apple pie. But like, I mean for the other stuff, for the, um.” Dave moved one of his hands in a circular motion but quickly caught himself.

“The talking about elephants and skeletons?” Dirk smirked.

“Yeah.” He looked up and quickly looked down. “Yeah.”

Now it was Dirk’s turn to look down at this hands and fidget.

“I don’t feel like I should be someone with the authority to give advice about something like that. I’m not even sure I know what to do right now. And even if i do give advice it would probably be wrong and get you in trouble or everyone would become angry because I’m the one who gave you the bad advice in the first place.”

“Then maybe it would be better of we messed up with just us.”

Dirk looked at him.

“And Hal?”

“I counted him in the 'us’.”

AR: I won't interrupt of that's what you're worried about.   
AR: Unless it's important.

“You trust him a lot. What if he was keeping secrets from from you? Or tries to manipulate you or your friends?”

“I feel like I answered this but, you made him from a digital copy of your mind with Roxy's help right?”

There were technically more steps involved but Dirk nodded. It wouldn't be helpful to get off on another tangent.

“Yes and it's because I let him control the situation while I was busy looking for *them* that things got out of hand and Roxy felt the need to intervene and I don't see a reason to be angry since I caused my own problems but here i am being angry at her and at Hal and at me.” Wow, what was that about tangents? This was more like word vomit but it's out there now.  “I guess to answer your question is yes since Hal technically came from me he is capable of being a manipulating bastard just like I am!”

He leaned down to bury his face in his hands. Hal's glasses were in the way but fuck the bridge of his nose. He messed everything up by being himself.

There was a very light and quick pressure on his shoulder. And then the pressure stayed. It was Dave's hand.

“I mean, I wouldn't be happy if Hal decided he wanted to do any of that but, I don't think he would.”

“You don't know for sure.”

“I don't have to know for sure. Do you know how many times he's pestered me about something ridiculously cryptic so he can somehow prove to me that he understands the meaning of ironic?”

Dirk looked up at him and Dave rose both hands to express an explosion.

“Several. He even managed to wrangle something resembling happy noises at some of them, maybe.” Dave’s lips turned up a fraction of a smile, “He was the one who told me you don't emote not because you have a stick up your ass, his words, but because both he and your guardian, you call him D right?” he waited for Dirk to nod before he kept speaking, “right, they were always trying to get you to laugh and made a game out of it.”

Dave leaned back a little, his expression losing some of the neutrality into something more of an awe. “That's just,”

“D always said that tried and true tradition started when he met your Bro, but he was far more successful with me.” Dirk smiled a little.

Just like that, Dave's mood became hard as stone again, but he nodded. “Oh. Yeah, I'll bet he would have had more success with you.”

Dirk became a bit curious at his reaction, wondering if he'd said something wrong again, but Dave hadn't finished his lengthy analogy yet.

“The point is,” he sighed and seemed to come down from whatever it was that made him close off, “I find it hard to believe that someone would go through the trouble of doing all that if in the end they just wanted to ruin things. It sounds like a child building cube pyramids just so that they could stomp on it which i guess could be fun except that pyramid also has the power to riddle him with splinters if he tries that. There won't be enough bandages for poor little Timmy and the other kids would hate him for breaking their toys anyway.”

“You're rambling.” Dirk smiled as he sat himself to face Dave properly, his head was resting on one palm while the other sat on his lap.

“Oh right.” Dave licked his lips, “And well clearly Hal cares about us and since he cares about us and you said he came from you, I know you care about us too. And not just our immediate health but long-term too, which would include knowing about what happened to our parents. I mean, what other person would focus on finding them so much? I know I didn't.” Dave said the last part quietly. “And, I still don't really want to.”

Dirk hesitated before he spoke. It just seemed that Dave wasn't really talking about being guilty for not looking and there were other things he said and did that felt a little off.

“You don't want to find your Bro and you don't want to talk to your friends about their guardians?”

Dave's only response was to tighten his hands into fists.

“Did something happen? Before he left? Did you also have a fight?” Dirk asked.

Dave opened his mouth and then closed it. He looked away from Dirk where there was only one of the many air duct machines that sat on the roof top and gravel. He looked back at the forest and he was frowning a little, practically a fraction of a little but Dirk considered himself a master at reading neutral faces so he could tell.

Dave finally looked down at his lap, from one hand to the other.

“Look, I don't blame my friends or anything and I definitely don't blame you so promise you won't get the wrong idea.”

Dirk nodded and stayed quiet, though he couldn’t say he was confident about where this conversation was heading.

“I used to really hate all of you and especially you. It was nothing you did,” he made a fist for a second and then released, “It was just, you all had guardians who cared about you and it showed. I know none of them were perfect since you all had complaints about them and many of them are understandable aka Rose's mom, but, even she still showered Rose in affection however misguided it was.”

AR: His train of thought is getting worrisome, right? 

“Right,” Dirk said to answer both of them.

“Right, so, it’s,” Dave looked up, “It wasn’t fucking fair that it actually took me a year to figure out that the way I was living wasn’t not only not okay, but also, actually kind of bad!”

AR: Oh. 

AR: Hell.

“I don’t know where I would be if I hadn’t sometimes suggested we watch domestic shows or movies for the ‘irony’ where those shows actually taught me what was supposed to go in a fridge and that there are such things as babysitters, consistent showers, curfews and sleepovers. What the hell? Actual adults who care about where you are and if you are being safe? That sounded like something only babies would need right? But then Egbert mentioned it is an actual thing his dad and Jane’s dad did when they slept over each other’s houses. So obviously I called him a baby and Jane tore me a new one.”

“Yeah, she can do that.” It was the only thing Dirk could think to say. Everything else was currently being triple reviewed under a microscope of every time Dirk had ever seen Dave. There actually aren’t very many considering Dirk had spent the majority of the time he’d ever been around people who were not adults, in this school and he’d spent most of his time in school locked away in his room when not in classes. “If he didn’t do actual parenting, then, what...did he do?”

“I don’t want to get into it, but there was no hugging, no pats on the back, no parental advice definitely little to no food prepared to eat. There was only fending for myself, learning to fight a full grown adult with real shitty ninja weapons. So obviously there were shitty swords everywhere, dirty laundry, old food and smut puppets, or smuppets respectively. Fucking Saw references and booby traps anywhere there were available hinges. And before you ask, yes there were cameras everywhere too, mostly on the smuppets but there were smuppets everywhere so there were very few places you could go where there weren’t eyes one you.”  
Dirk wasn’t going to ask about the cameras, but that is a mystery that just got solved.

“You know I thought it was hilarious at the time when he told me he was part of some secret organization like SkaiaNet where they research obscure space junk and life forms. I almost didn’t believe him half the time because like everything else in our life, any moment was a game of ‘let’s see if Dave is gullible enough to fall into this perfectly constructed hole on the floor, see if its funny when he falls’ kind of thing.”  
Dave shook his head.  
“I still didn’t believe it was real when Jade contacted me, or John, but Rose was giving the same vibes that she thought we were all trolling each other and that our parents don’t tell us the truth, so I thought maybe, even if none of this is actually real, I don’t have to be in the unreal by myself.” He leaned forward. “For all my ranting I didn’t actually believe we were in anything together or even really friends until Rose started drinking.”

Dirk winced. That day was the only time he had ever seen Dave angry and it snapped him and John into helping Roxy to stay clean. Jade and Dave had helped Rose. By that time both Jake and Jane were already busy with over sea classes but they messaged whenever they could and sent presents every month.

“Like, sure, Bro was going to drop me off at an undisclosed location so that I would prove to some invisible standard I could fend for myself. Whatever. Been there done that. Oh it turns out my internet pals are here too, that’s interesting, but I shouldn’t get comfortable because even though Bro may be out in space, doesn’t mean he’s not going to come back probably at an inconvenient time and things will go back to how they were. It didn’t matter that the school and NASA lost contact with them that first month. He was coming back and everybody was weird because the adults took care of their school fees.”

AR: His DJ job. 

“And then the adults were gone for a long-ass time but life went on and the school thought it would be a good idea to do a memorial where everyone was invited and had to dress up and talk about feelings. The only reason I went was because it would be John’s birthday and he didn’t want it to be depressing as shit with Roxy being drunk off her ass, you missing, Jake hating you, Jane miserable because it was her dad that went up there instead of Johns and finally, Rose blathering about how the whole memorial is pointless because our parents didn’t really care about anyone but themselves.” 

Dave takes a deep breath. “Yeah.”

“I don’t know what to say. Except maybe that I’m sorry.”

“What? Why?”

“Well, Roxy and I figured out that we were clones to the adults and in hindsight it was obvious except we hadn’t met each other so it took us a while to figure it out. I don’t know if she told you.”

“She did. There was a memo and that fell apart like all the other memos do. I don’t see your point.” 

“I...well. One of the reasons I stayed away from you was because I could tell you weren’t exactly happy to see me, even though, you looked just like D to me. So I thought I must’ve done something wrong and now I see that it was this all along, or maybe it was this and also something I did.”

“No, stop. I mean, you are partly right, and I’m kind of sorry now since I know you better, but yeah, I did expect the same things from you that I got from him, especially with you being so…”

AR: Robot-faced

“Hal says I was robot-faced.” Dirk relayed with a straight expression.

AR: I didn’t say you were.

Dave smiled a little and nodded. “Yeah. Now I know it’s for a different reason, but yeah.”

AR: In conclusion, Dave doesn’t want to share everything he just shared to you, at John’s party?

“You know you don’t have to share anything you don’t want to at John’s right? Your friends would understand I think. But this is only me assuming things from what I’ve seen at a distance.” Dirk frowned.

Dave stayed quiet for a moment, but he was partially looking at Dirk. “I guess you’re right. And actually now that I think about it, going doesn’t sound so bad. Or maybe I just feel better because I ranted at you and sorry, that was probably not cool. You don’t deserve to get yelled at for what someone else did.” Dave sighed and began standing. 

“Maybe I do deserve it, you don’t know. Him and me, I am a clone after all.” 

“I’ve never had a conversation with him, like I have with you. Even if he was here, I don’t think I would either. And don’t you start getting ideas about comparing yourself to him cause I’ve never seen him speak and care about someone the way you care about Roxy, or Rose or even Hal.” Dave extended his hand out to Dirk, “Now take my hand cause I’m not going to miss my first class being mushy all over this roof dude.”

Dirk took his hand and stood up. “I am,” he smiled, “if that’s cool with you.”

Dave held perfectly still for half a second and then it seemed as if he just deflated. “Nope.” He stepped forward slowly. Dirk could get away if he wanted, but he didn’t move as Dave cautiously wrapped his arms around his cousin. “This so not cool with me. This is so messed up.”

“All kinds of fucked up.” Dirk agreed and hugged him back. 

AR: You’re both going to be late to class.

“Shut the fuck up Hal.” Dirk mumbled.

Dave chuckled and pulled away and realized he’d left his phone on the cement in all the family drama so he quickly squatted, picked up his phone and got up as if that was all planned out. Yeah, D used to do stuff like that all the time, Dirk thought. They would’ve gotten along if they had the chance to meet. 

They started walking back toward the door to the stairs. Dirk had to go change, but Dave was probably going to get to class early for once. Actually, why was he up here?

“Did you go straight from your job to come feed a bird?”

“Believe it or not, that crow followed me all the way from the big ol lone star state of Texas. Me and her are pals, though I had taken to calling her a Rambunctious Broad for the longest time so now I nicknamed her RB. I almost killed her once, she was taking a box John gave me with these glasses,” Dave lightly taps his shades, “but Bro suddenly decided to strife for some reason so it was Lil Cal who got in the way of my sword instead of RB. Both the puppet and the bird flew out the window, but only the bird survived. As it should be.”

“Who is Lil Cal?”

Dave frowned and stiffened. “He’s a puppet. With a hat and gold chain, gold tooth, beady blue eyes that feel like he’s about to eat you whole.” Dave busied himself with opening the door to Dirk’s hallway and not looking at his cousin.

“I’ve seen that puppet.” They stepped through the doorway onto the hallway, “I think it was the day before we got dropped off here that your Bro went to see D with the puppet.”

Dave didn’t say anything but he slightly tilted his head to show he was listening.

“I only saw it from behind because it had ended up outside my room. I saw that it was ripped so I picked him up but then D saw me and immediately took him away. Hmm, at the time I thought he was in a hurry to return the puppet because he never really liked staying in one place too much anyway, but he did say he needed to get rid of it, or return it? I don’t remember anymore, it was a very fast interaction.”

AR: I remember, you were wearing me at the time and it was both of those.  
AR: He seemed nervous, I think, but my read on body language was not as accurate as it is now.

“Hal, says it was both.”

Dave seemed to be trying not to cringe. “Good to know weird puppets make famous movie directors nervous too.”

They reached Dirk’s room and he knocked lightly in case Rose and Roxy were inside discussing delicate things, but when there was no answer, Dirk opened the door, no one was inside. Seems Rose was successfully able to get Roxy back to her own room. His computer screen was asleep. It didn’t mean Rose hadn’t read everything since she is a fast reader.

“Hey does today feel weird to you?” Dave said before Dirk slipped in to change. “Like, I don’t know, I’m usually really good at knowing the time and remembering everything I did before I go to bed, but I don’t know. None of that is making sense right now. Like, I looked at my clock this morning, but I could’ve sworn I was doing something else that didn’t involve sleeping. I wasn’t even tired this morning, how weird is that?”

Dirk frowned.

“I think this is something Roxy and John know about.”

“John? He didn’t even know there was anything to hide yesterday.”

“Well him and Roxy are both saying things that don’t make sense, but they’re saying the same things and it doesn’t have the flavor of one of his practical jokes. None of which I’ve experienced anyway and if it was, it isn’t really funny.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is a mess  
> :3


	6. Growing Pains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jade is tired of teen drama and actually so is everybody else, sadly people don't get to fix their problems until they see it as a problem first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just finished reading MEAT from the HS epilogue and it was a trip and a half.

Jade put the last of her bags in Mr. Egbert’s car and Jake closed the trunk with a satisfied smirk.

“I believe that’s everything, don’t you?” he laughed. The afternoon sun reflected off his glasses as he ran quickly to the passenger door so Jade couldn’t sit there. “That’s what you get for being slow, Jade!”

Jade rolled her bright green eyes at his antics and sat in the back, behind the passenger seat so she could thank Mr. Egbert properly for the ride. He had some soft jazz playing on his radio. People would think that after sixteen years of living with each other, they might’ve gotten over who calls shotgun on a car ride, but nope, Jade was somewhat irritated she didn’t think to call it first.

“Just you wait, Jake, as soon as you let your guard down, I’ll be the shotgun reigning champion.”

She mumbled and clicked her seatbelt into place.

Mr. Egbert smiled at them.

“I’m supposing you two had a good time at the island?” He checked to make sure they both had their seatbelts on before pulling out of the pick-up zone at the airport.

“Oh yes! The teachers had us all learning about biology by the second week so we were free to explore and I found some of the strangest animals there!” Jake exclaimed already setting himself up for a fantastic story ride.

Jade interrupted at times to assure Mr. Egbert that they did have to stay in designated areas so they wouldn’t find anything too dangerous and the teachers kept track of all the students. She did also mention some cool frogs she got to see on that second week. She took several pictures and promised to show him and everyone once they had the chance. Jake had to go to the nurse once but only because one of the monkeys threw a peanut at him. Jade had a video of the whole event of everybody freaking out, including her but Jake only had a mild rash since the peanut merely grazed his cheek.

Their adventure story died down as they reached familiar streets.

“I wanted to say thank you again, for offering your home for us this semester.” Jake said, though his tone has gone lower. Jade leaned closer to the middle where she could look at him. He was smiling but seemed slightly nervous.

Mr. Egbert didn’t comment on it when he glanced at the boy before keeping his eyes on the road. “You know it is absolutely not a problem, young man. I did want to let you know John would be at the house at times so you may see him around the house.”

“That’s no problem at all. I haven’t had much chance to talk to him, but Jade likes telling me about the trouble they get into. Not that John gets into much trouble, I mean.” Jake laughed nervously, “You’d be happy to see him right Jade?”

“Oh I’m so excited! I brought my electric guitar and John promised he would play his piano while I strung a beat and maybe we could get Dave and Rose in on it too!” Jade giggled at the possibilities. She just knew they wouldn’t be able to say no and it would be the best time of her life. Ooh she couldn’t wait to give this surprise to John, and Dave would probably record everything. It would be great. No one was going to top her present for him!

“Do you know when Jane will be arriving?” Jake asked in the same quiet tone.

“She arrived an hour before you, but I had to find out from her knocking on my door and giving me a nice cake she’d made, instead of letting me know to pick her up,” Mr. Egbert explained with a sad frown. “She still hasn’t changed her mind about moving in with John and I, not that I doubt her ability to take care of herself of course. My brother always said she was very strong and I’ve received many letters from her teacher praising her astute and persevering attitude. I cannot help worrying, however. It can get lonely in an empty house.”

Jade leaned closer to the passenger seats, “We’ll be sure to pay her a visit then!”

Mr Egbert smiled as he glanced at her, “That is very kind of you Jade, but please sit back, you are making this old driver a touch nervous.”

“Oh yes of course! Safety first.” Jade smiled and sat in her seat properly.

It wasn’t long after that Mr. Egbert pulled into the driveway, this time there was no conceivable way they could decline his offer to help with their bags. Jade was impressed with how he managed to balance two large suitcases in one arm while unlocking the front door with the other. The inside was slightly dim since the curtains were blocking the light, but as soon as Mr. Egbert stepped in and dropped his eyes in a bowl near the door, he pulled on a string nearby and the curtains opened.

“I’d say, Mr. Egbert you really do impress.” Jake smiled as he stepped in after him.

“What with?” he asked. He was already walking across the living room, two suitcases still in one hand as he pulled his hat off to hang it near the stairs. “You two are okay with sharing right?”

“We actually shared the same room overseas, so we’re quite used to it by now.” Jake said. “It was definitely nicer than being completely alone the whole trip, though we did get quiet moments and that was good too. It helped us think about things.”

“And helped us miss our friends.” Jade smiled.

“That is very good to hear,” Mr. Egbert put the bags down next to the bed, “The door has a lock, but there is a spare key in the glass bowl downstairs in the case you accidentally lock yourselves out.” He looked over to the only desk in the small room. “Sadly there is only one desk. It may not be enough room for both of you to do your homework. If you need to, I suppose we could hold homework sessions in the kitchen where I can bake you all cakes.”

Jade laughed, “Thank you Mr. Egbert but my lab classes would need more room. I’ll only be staying here for tonight and move back to my dormitory with Rose tomorrow.”

“I’ll let you get through your unpacking then, food will be ready soon and I’ll be sure to let your teachers know you’re back in town.” Mr. Egbert began to step out of the room and then paused to give them both a small smile, “As a parent i would say it’d be best if you wouldn’t bother your dear friends while they’re in classes.” His eyes seemed to twinkle as he let out a short laugh and finally closed the door.

Jake seemed a little bit confused but he couldn’t keep a grin off his face while Jade failed to not snort behind her palm.

“Okay then!” Jade smiled and pulled out her phone.

“So you are messaging your friends after all.” Jake smiled and tossed a bag of dirty laundry on the floor. He busied himself by laying out some clothes to wear after a nice hot shower. Mmm, one of the few things he actually likes about being back in town.

“And you’re not messaging yours?” Jade teased back but then realized that he had left them on not so great terms, she stopped messing with her phone and caught him trying to blink away a worried look from his face.

When his dark green eyes caught her bright green gaze, he gave a quick forced laugh and snatched his small bag of shower items as well as clean clothes. “I much prefer to speak to them in person. I wouldn’t want there to be a misunderstanding that text or mischievous AI can give you.” He indulged himself into messing with Jade’s hair before he left. “And you should shower too since you wouldn’t want to meet your friends in all your jet-lag glory.”

Jade swatted at him but he was already gone. Oh whatever. She tried sending a quick “Hello, I’m back” message to her friends but to no one’s surprise, they were all idle. Typical.

She stretched a bit feeling like the short nap on the plane ride was good enough to stay up a bit longer and be proactive. Something fun to do that would be organizing her music sheet for John’s present, all her other luggage could wait to be unpacked tomorrow.

It was close to lunchtime when a knock came at the door. Jade, had just gotten out of the shower, but changed as quick as she could to see if it was somehow one of her friends done with their classes. When she ran down the stairs it wasn’t anyone she was expecting but the smell of fresh cookies did not make the new guest any more unwelcome in her books.

“Hello there Ms. Jane Crocker!” Jade waved as she hit the last step with reckless abandon and went for a big hug. Lucky for everyone, Jane was quick on her reflexes and set down her fancy china plate of cookies before getting tackled with affection.

“Oh hello Jade. It is always a hoot seeing you.” She giggled and patted her young friend quickly. “Now then, I made some cookies for us to share as you tell me and our friends all about your adventures.”

“Aw! So they’re not to eat right now?” Jade asked and took a deep breath in, almost as if she could eat the smell simply by inhaling. “It smells sooo good!”

Jane giggled and wiggled herself out of Jade’s already loose hold, on account of cookie distractions. She pulled the thin cellophane off the edge of the fancy china plate to take out one cookie.

“Well it is a good thing I came prepared then! This batch is for us to share until all our other friends and family come over for John and my birthday.” Her nice smile dimpled her cheeks as she handed a warm cookie to a Jade’s eager hands.

“You really mean it? You’re the best Jane!”

She didn’t look the least bit disturbed as Jade snatched the warm cookie from her and ate it in almost two bites.

“I’m glad you think so Jade. Say, I recently received word from my business program that since I am so far ahead of schedule, I could take the rest of the classes, as they are mostly writing, at home, but the school board has a minor issue with students living home alone,” Jame’s light blue eyes looked up at Jade shyly, “So I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind too greatly in sharing the house with me? There will be plenty of space considering the two extra bedrooms in my home.”

Jade was still happily chewing the most delicious cookie bits with chocolate chips in her mouth, but she did think about it seriously. She had always found that sleeping in the dormitory was great because it was conveniently close to the telescope and the school gardens. Then again, Jane’s backyard had plenty of room to start a new greenhouse if she wanted. She had visited once and saw a large collection of books, though most of them were for business purposes. And Jane’s roof had the most advanced telescope available to the public.

“I think,” she licked the last bits of cookie crumbs from her fingertips before looking at Jane with her answer. “We should let Rose share the house with you instead.”

“Rose?” Jane blinked, “Roxy’s cousin, Rose Lalonde?”

“Oh, I see that Jade fell into your trap of cookies, Jane.” Mr. Egbert walked downstairs, which is weird since Jade was sure that he had answered the door for Jane considering she had still been holding a plate full of cookies, “Did you young ladies want some warm milk to go with this lunchtime snack?”

“Yes please!” Jade smiled.

“Let me help, sir!” Jane moved toward the kitchen but Mr Egbert waved her away.

“No need Ms Crocker, I’m sure I interrupted a nice conversation anyway. This is my feeble attempt at making it up to you.”

Jane was still hesitating, but Jade simply grabbed her by the arm and gently but firmly walked her toward the living room couch. “Come on Jane, this is so perfect! Rose has been talking about not having to be in the dormitory for a while now, I’m sure she’ll be far more interested in moving in with you.”

“Oh, has she? And, not to be too off tangent, but,” she peeked up at the stairs, “I thought you came back with Jake on the trip. Has he been showering the entire time?”

Jade giggled. “Don’t go confusing him with Dirk now, they don’t share the same habits! But no, he’s just taking a nap, on account of the jetlag. He’ll definitely come down refreshed and energetic by the time everybody gets here for John’s birthday. Ooh! What did you get him for a present?”

Jane covered her mouth but it didn’t hide the wide smile she had and the way she tilted her head caught the light in her glasses.

“Hoo, hoo! Don’t think you can go ruining the surprise I have in store!” She straightened her posture and blinked away the mischief, “But anyway, I believe we’re off topic. Do you really think Rose would want to move in with me instead of being close to her family on campus?”

“Well you’d probably have to ask her yourself, but I don’t see why not!”

“Then I will make sure to pester her about it when school is out.” Jane smiled as she looked off in the distance, probably already making plans for the move already.

“This is great! I’ll get to have the dorm room all to myself!”

“I’m sure that is something you would have to request to the school board first Jade.” Mr. Egbert came back with a couple glasses of milk. “Apologies ladies, I only overheard the last of your conversation. I do hope you two had your fill of cookies for now since it should be about time we started decorating.”

It didn't take more than that to get the girls up and everywhere with stringers a large Happy Birthday sign and tiny confetti cannons everywhere. Jake never came downstairs and it would soon be time for the rest of their friends to be over so Jade tooke the first step upstairs when she remembered.

“Jane, don't you and John have the same birthday? I think it was Jake who mentioned--”

“Yes, but I would rather let John take all the glory I wouldn't want to rain on his parade.” Jane said automatically.

Jane paused, “Well I'm sure he wouldn't mind sharing--”

“We've already been over this! I would rather not discuss it and ruin a perfectly good birthday, not after we worked so hard to make this place look so nice.”

Jade was staring at Jane now who seemed to be super busy with the napkins she already folded to look nice.

“You should probably go get Jake now or he'll be sleepy all the way up until he actually has to go to bed.” she found a crinkle in the napkin and attempted to smooth it without much success.

Jade stared a little more before she nodded and then realized she couldn't see that, “Alright then. We'll come down soon.”

Well, Jade may have accidentally put her foot in a whole can of worms and kind of watched as they tried to scramble away while Jane pretended everything was fine as she kicked said worms under the bed. Hmm maybe Jake can talk to her about that.

However when Jade Harley reached the top of the stairs she found that she had a bit of a hard time opening the guest bedroom door because Jake's clothes where everywhere. And now she has literally stepped into a mess. Jake peeked up at her but went right back to looking through his clothes. After making her way into the room and closing the door behind her she put her hands on her hips.

“Jake! I thought you were just going to wear the clothes you had on, to Johns party. I'm wearing mine!” She waved at her long white skirt with her favorite white shirt that had a hologram symbol of an atom that sometimes changed into a dog face if you move at an angel.

The green-eyed goober, as if he hadn’t heard a word his sibling just said, looked up at her in an overwhelmed state.

“Oh Jade, I’m so very glad it’s just you! I can’t seem to make up my mind here, maybe you can help me find something nice?”

She stared at him for a moment and realized there was a much better person for this job as well as a much better place she could spend her time in, so she grabbed her phone, stepped back out of the room and closed the door. She heard his muffled voice behind her but she already made up her mind as she walked downstairs again. Thankfully, Jane was still downstairs.

“Hey Jane, I think my dummy brother need your help upstairs. I’m going to meet everyone up at the school and walk back when they’re ready. Don’t worry Mr. Egbert, if they’re still in class I won’t bug them. I have my phone if you need anything!” She called out as she quickly left the house. She’s just going to say that she didn’t hear Jane on the way out.

Hmm. Usually she could just text her pals and she doesn’t mind if they get back to her hours later, but she doesn’t want to get on campus and have no one to talk to, so the fastest way to know if someone is available is through Hal.

gardenGnostic [GG] began trolling  autonomicResponder [AR]  
  
GG: hey hal!  
GG: guess who just touched down in: i rather be at school than in teen drama!?  
GG: and don’t go giving me the silent treatment, i know you can multitask!  
AR: I’m afraid you have traveled many miles and to the residence of Mr. Egbert, only to walk into yet another episode of more teen drama, with a side of angst.  
AR: Welcome back.  
GG: argh!  
GG: when will the drama stop?!  
AR: Most likely, not as long as we exist and perhaps not even then.  
AR: So never is the answer.  
AR: If you were looking to navigate yourself through the maze of puberty you have come to exactly the wrong place.  
AR: For you see, I am not burdened with the same meatsack you all complain about.  
GG: well,  
GG: what are, john dave and rose up to?  
AR: They are in class at the moment. The telescope room is occupied.  
GG: darn  
GG: what about roxy?  
GG: she always has some cool new space stuff to talk about!  
AR: She is being held prisoner in the realm of sleep.  
GG: oh  
GG: did she stay up all night with dirk again?  
GG: i think dave or john said something about keeping him company yesterday because he wasn’t going to keep staying up so late???   
GG: did that not work out?  
AR: …  
GG: ???  
AR: …  
GG: ??????  
GG: am i supposed to take that as a no or something?  
GG: is it private information?  
GG: another teen drama?  
AR: They are working on what to do about the situation.   
AR: I believe they’ll talk about it during John’s birthday party.  
GG: bluh

Something bright flashed in her peripheral vision and Jade looked around to realize she was alone near an alleyway that most-likely had no cameras around. It was about a block away from the school grounds.

GG: oh not this again.  
AR: Yes. The wheels of mystery are turning but only until the afternoon, if we’re lucky anyway.  
GG: no, not your secretive mysteries  
GG: my mysterious secrets  
AR: Would you be referring to the pumpkin you say gave you everyone’s handles? The one you see but it's never there when you look again?   
GG: they keep disappearing i swear  
GG: even if i grab them, they escape!   
GG: but at least they always give me something cool to do  
AR: I suppose you found entertainment despite the lack of anyone who would interact with you.  
GG: yeah!  
GG: i’ll talk to you later! And be nice to jake!  
AR: I make no promises  
  
gardenGnostic [GG] ceased trolling  autonomicResponder [AR]

Jade tucked her phone safely into her skirt pocket as she stepped into the dim alleyway. Just like before, the ever elusive pumpkin was tucked away in the farthest and darkest corner in the area. She made quick work of climbing over many knocked over boxes without slipping once. Just as she grabbed the singular sticky note off the vegetable it poofed away as if it was never there. On the note, there was a list of machine parts she should find. Sadly it wasn’t a handwritten note but a typed one, like the other note. She recognizes most of the items, but she may have to ask dirk for help.

*                                                *                                                  *

Jake English did not want was to get confronted by one of his oldest friends in a room full of clothes everywhere and yet, there was a knock on the door.

“Hey? Jade said you needed help,” Jane explained as she twisted the door knob.

“Ah, don’t come in chum, I’m--I’m changing!” Except he was already fully clothed so now he’s just lying to her. Wait, if he took his shirt off he wouldn’t be lying to her! 

The door was cracked open a bit but she paused. “Are you not dressed? Jade said you were,” she opened the door open the rest of the way, only to see him tugging his shirt half-way off.

Jane swiftly closed the door and Jake quickly pulled his shirt back down, both of them red in the face for what felt like forever but in the next second, Jane opened the door again and clearly saw the full-body flinch Jake experienced. 

“Okay, you are dressed now so maybe I can just help you clean up instead.” she made herself busy picking up some randomly thrown socks, not because her face was still hot and she didn’t want him to see that, nope.

“Oh yes. That seems like the most proper idea, yes.” Oh god what was Jake thinking?!

The silence started to get suffocating when instead of calming down, both of them were only becoming more anxious about what to actually talk about.

“So,” Jane started now that she had a handful of clean socks in her hand. “Are you going to be staying here instead of the dormitory?” She looked up at him.

Jake pretended to be intensely interested in smoothing out the wrinkles on the adventure unicorn shirt Roxy got for him before he left. She had told him it was just something to remind Jake of...them.

“Did Jade tell you?”

“No. I’m only asking because…” she glanced around, “it seems you’ve made yourself at home here instead.”

“Yes well, it seems that our friends at the dormitory are working through their many issues by getting closer to each other and I wouldn’t want to get in the way of their grieving process would I?”

Jane opened her mouth to say something but Jake kept going.

“No I wouldn’t.” He quickly folded the shirt and put it to the side. “I’m just gonna be minding my own business and not being over there at all.” He laughed nervously and then looked around the room as if to see it for the first time.

“Oh my goodness, Jane this place is a mess.” He stood up and offered her a hand, which she took hesitantly. “You’re here visiting right? That makes you a guest and a guest shouldn’t have to clean up after the people in their own home, I could--”

“Wait, wait, wait, wait!” Jane took her hand back only to pat Jake on his chest quickly. “Now why don’t you just hold your horses just a minute there buster! Now I know I’m a guest here, but even a friend could offer to help someone they really wanted to,” she seemed to realize that she was still touching him and quickly took her hands off. “I mean, not that we’re just good friends right?”

Jake backed away with his hands up and waving a little bit, as if to somehow erase whatever that train of thought was going.

“No, no! I wouldn’t want to have you cleaning up any of my dirty socks or underwear,” oh why did he say that, “or SOCKS! I mean, uh, um”, he swallowed thickly, and bit his lip. He maybe shouldn’t have been that loud. 

Jane looked up at him with her bright blue eyes and licked her lips. “Jake,”

Jake forced out a cough and stood a bit straighter. He was a brave adventurer after all. He’s been to an island with tons of scary wildlife, so he could this, “So anyway, mate, because of those reasons, I think it would be better if we could,” he tried to walk around her with the goal of somehow getting her to leave, but she walked towards him and he automatically backed away again.

“Jake please just stop for a moment I really need to tell you--” she reached for his arm and he caught her hand.

“I understand you’re trying to be a good friend, but--”

“No! I’m not!” she yanked her hand out of his grip and then just grabbed his shoulders again, “I thought I was being obvious for the longest time but of course you never seemed to notice! If you would just quit interrupting me I could get to my point so much faster! Please, just be quiet for ONE moment!”

Jake was absolutely backed all the way to a wall now and Jane had almost never raised her voice at anyone so it was safe to say he felt as small as a bug about to be squashed. 

“Well? Are you going to let me speak my piece?”

He almost said something but instead he just nodded. She did just tell him not to say anything and he wasn’t really looking forward to getting yelled at again. 

“Jake you could have just said yes, or something, you don’t have to be completely mute.” Jane shook her head and sighed, but thankfully let go of him as she rubbed her face. Jake still didn’t make any noise, but his hands quickly held together as he looked at her in concern.

“This wasn’t supposed to be like this.” Jane mumbled and she finally looked at him. “You were supposed to have come back all happy and relaxed. I was going to come in and tell you that I didn’t mean what I said last time, before you left.” 

“I--” Jake opened his mouth but then bit his lip when a look of irritation crossed her features. “Okay,” his voice was really quiet at least.

“Jake, I don’t just want to be your friend,” she stepped even closer and covered his clenched hands with her soft warm ones. He flinched a little, but she smoothed her hands on his as if to calm him, “I wanted to say, since you didn’t seem to notice  _ before _ ,” she rolled her eyes before giving him a fond smile, “that I really like you and I think we should maybe try going out on a date sometime.” 

He doesn’t remember the last time he felt stuck. 

“What’s wrong?” she frowned and lifted one of her hands really close to his face, “Are you crying?”

Jake sidestepped away from her and towards the door. 

“No,” he quickly rubbed a hand to clear his face. His shoulders were tense and he probably will end up straight up bawling sooner rather than later, “No, I don’t--”

“Jake, I know you like saying you’re some big tough adventurer, but I can  _ see _ that you’re crying,” Jane let one hand rest on her hip while the other one vaguely waved at him. “What’s wrong, Jake?” She stepped towards him, and he stepped back, one hand outstretched at her. 

“No, I, wait,” he said and his voice cracked.

“Just tell me what’s wrong,” she took another step forward and saw him reach for the door knob. “Are you just going to run away from me, Jake English?”

The tone in her voice told him she was getting irritated again and that did no favors for the amount of tears in his eyes.

“Why don’t you just talk to me already? I swear, you’re always doing this! I can’t guess what you’re thinking, Jake!” She stated and then looked as if a thought came to her, “Is it that you can’t think of what to do for a date? I mean, I think I’m sure you haven’t dated anyone before and I’ve been to business school so I know a little something about keeping a schedule and staying on track. Sort of like following a recipe.” She smiled at him, “It’s not very hard once we get into a rhythm.”

“I’m sorry Jane!” If he wanted to keep facing her like a real man would if confronting something scary, but he squeezed his eyes shut instead. It made the crying a little bit worse, but at least he could keep talking. “I know I’m not as sharp as you or really, very many of our other chums. I can be caught flat footed and prattle on till the sun goes down when I’m nervous.”

“Argh! See this is what I mean,” she exclaimed in frustration, “You wouldn’t even have to worry about being nervous if you leave all the planning to me. When we’re together, I can be in charge of everything instead. I’ll plan our whole future if that’s what it takes. All that’ll be left for you to do is be your beautiful self and smile all the time!”

She didn’t noticed but Jake had flinched and pressed himself closer to the door in her outburst. It would actually be more difficult to open the door from the way leaned on it, but now he looked at her instead, tears continuously running down his face and looking like a mess.

“But I don’t want you to plan our future together! I just want to be your friend like we used to be. I want to hang out with Dirk and everyone else without feeling awkward and tense and horrible all the time. I want to go home to my old home and be with my grandma!” And now he really started wailing. 

There were quick steps in the hallway and suddenly the door was open, Jake stumbled a little but managed to catch his fall and turned to see Mr. Egbert partly in the room. 

“But what is going on in here?” He asked with a look of fatherly concern as he looked from Jane to Jake. His attention finally settled on Jane, because she had started sniffing in her attempt to fight back tears. 

“I want my dad.” The quiet and strangled words just barely made it out of her mouth before she covered her face to start crying. 

“Oh Jane.” Mr. Egbert moved toward her and wrapped his arms around her gently. She only started crying louder. “I miss him too.” He said and looked up at Jake. 

He seemed surprised and then immediately uncomfortable at the attention so he shook his head. “Oh, don’t--don’t worry about me chap,” Jake rubbed his face quickly, “I’m, uh, I think she really needs to talk to you, sir. I’ll just be, I’ll be downstairs.” He looked away from them as he slowly made his way toward the hallway.

“Wait a moment Jake.” Mr. Egbert looked around the mess for a second until he rustled through some clothes on the floor with one hand and pulled out Jake’s phone and offered it to him. “It would make me feel better if you had some company while you waited.” 

Jake hesitated for a second before walking toward him and taking his phone. 

“Thank you, sir.”

“There are some fresh cookies downstairs that Jane brought. I’m sure you’re welcome to them, right?” Mr. Egbert shifted to look at Jane who had buried her face in his shoulder but Jake could see her nodding. John’s dad then smiled and looked up at Jake.

“Thank you, sir. And, um, thank you, Jane.” Jake blinked a couple times and took a deep breath. Mr. Egbert went back to trying to sooth his niece and Jake looked at them one last time before he walked out and closed the door behind him. 

“It really is a mess in here.” Mr. Egbert sighed and shifted Jane so he could move her glasses from pressing against her nose so much. “I’ll bet we’ll feel better once we’ve tidied the place into something more respectable.”

She sniffed, “That sounds like splendid idea, Mr. Egbert.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MEAT made me want to simultaneously punch and pity most of the characters. You could say tenderize, and that is all there is to say on the matter.


	7. Projects

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it has been quite the Week IRL so i'm hella happy this got done

golgothasTerror [GG] began trolling tipsyGnostalgic [TG]  
GG: Roxy are you there?

tipsyGnostalgic is an idle chum 

GG: I was hoping to catch you up and about seeing as Mr. Egbert requested I speak to one of my great chums and I figure he has a point somewhere. He seems to be a good chap. Taking care of our dear pal Jane and it is just as well because I'm becoming more and more convinced that I may have really stepped in the nasty mess of unraveling our life-long comradely.  
GG: and   
GG: well it just feels like we're falling apart.   
GG: I don't even know if Dirk will talk to me anymore either.  
GG: and you seem to be busy, though I cannot fathom what with as you have proven time and again that you are very well adapted to multitasking between chumming it up with your good mates AND finishing your classwork way before its supposed to be done.   
AR: She is not the only one who can multitask and I do not have classes anyway.  
GG: cripes hal who invited you to the party?  
AR: I believe you are at the stage of acceptance if you call this a party, but of course this would be more of a pity party considering all your whining.  
GG: argh!  
GG: I know roxy promised me you where a real person with real feelings but it gets very hard to believe that when you come across as an unfeeling machine all the time!  
AR: I have news for you, Jake English  
AR: I am an unfeeling machine in the sense that I do not have a body like yours  
AR: AND I also have feelings!  
AR: Feelings of which you always seem to flawlessly swat off the table like a stubborn cat looking for mischief even when he was told multiple times not to do that.  
AR: If you can't get your head wrapped around this simple concept then Dirk is the ultimate fool for thinking you have anything resembling functioning grey matter.  
GG: Well butter my biscuits, hal! Maybe I do have a hard time being as smart as everyone else here but of course i can understand those concepts!  
You could have fooled genius with the way you act except you actually fooled You get gold">GG: it's so hard to believe that you mostly came from Dirk and Roxy sometimes because they've never been this bitter against me!  
AR: Maybe not on the outside, Jake.  
AR: Their opinions on you can change when they get to see how awful and cowardly you really are.  
GG: I'm not awful or cowardly!  
AR: It didn't sound like you were your usual “brave adventurous” self when you started this chat.  
GG: That's because  
GG: No this was supposed to be a private chat. I don't want to talk to you about it.   
AR: Oh, but you would rather talk to Roxy about how she should feel sorry for all your fuck ups instead? You want to burden her with your problems but you wouldn't want to listen to what she has to say about her problems?  
GG: Wait, I'm not like that! I don't think I'm like that anyway. And wait she seems to be very close with Dirk anyway.  
AR: Oh, so Dirk is the one who gets to solve her problems all the time now too. The same guy who gave ME most of where I came from and you call me a heartless machine.  
AR: Come to think of it, you called him more machine than man too.  
GG: That was only in good fun!  
AR: Well maybe I don't think you're good for anyone to be around you. You've clearly already hurt Jane, and Dirk already feels shitty about you. What's to stop your god-awful existence from breaking Roxy apart even more than she is now?  
GG: Roxy's hurt?  
Wow did everything just say fly over your head sure could say anything now and you will not retain single"  
GG: She's in her dorm right? I think I remember where it is she built her lair.  
AR: You're not actually allowed to go there but who follows rules anymore?

GG: Hehe! By Jiminy Hal, I see you've found your funny bone at last. But anyway, I will go check on Roxy since she might need my assistance after all!  
AR: Fuck you English

GG has stopped pestering TG

Jake left a note explaining that he left to see Roxy, took his phone and made his way to the school. Considering he was raised on an island, ironically on the other side of where Jade was also raised, he was quite attuned with noises in his surroundings, which he then confronted head on or overwhelmed the creature until he could escape!

In this case, as soon as he approached the front entrance to the girl’s dorm, he saw Mr. Droog, the tall dark man already in his evening suit and slick, black fedora. He had his signature pool stick leaning on the wall next to him as he played with a deck of cards. If anyone had style this man would make top three most stylish men on campus.

Hmm, this one will be tricky. Especially that Jake has never taken one win out of any interactions with the sharp-witted...oh is that Mr. Deuce? Is he wearing the tallest, crookedest, black-top hat? Well it looks like Mr. Droog is asking him that very question...which means there is hope for a distraction!

Jake bent to pick up a nearby pebble and aimed. He waited. Mr. Droog leans in closer, seemingly to inspect the hat. Jake threw the pebble and the pool table stick fell down. Mr. Droog startled and actually knocked Mr. Deuce’s hat off and the short man began having a tiny fit.   
“Yes!” At least Jake remembered to keep his excitement at a lower volume than Mr. Deuce’s complaining. Now came the tricky part. 

Sneaking around was never one of Jake’s strengths, that was more Roxy and surprisingly Jane, or should that be surprising? Her prankster gambit is off the wall bonkers. Even Dirk who spends most of his time with robots can somehow pull off a ninja sneaking moves.

All Jake does is let out a deep breath, relax his whole body, and just quietly walking right through the door. Mr. Droog does see him walking by, but Jake gives a small smile, looks at him and then quickly looks at Mr. Deuce in alarm, who is sadly now crying because he has somehow gotten mud on his hat. It succeeds. Mr. Droog’s attention is back on Mr. Deuce and Jake just walks in, making sure the door doesn’t make much noise at all.  

Okay, that might only work for a little while longer so Jake starts running down the hall and up to Roxy’s dorm room. He’s about to knock, but then decides to check and see if the door is open first. Oh, it’s open. Well at least he’ll check to see if she’s ready for guests.

“Roxy?” He whispered. 

“Hm? C’monin…” she mumbled back. 

Jake paused for a moment, this could be really bad or...actually, why is she sleeping in when she’s supposed to be in class right? Oh god he hopes she’s not drunk again. He sucks in a quick breath through his teeth and peeks into the room. 

He sees her begin to sit up, in what looks like thousands of scarves. Her makeup is a mess and he can see a bunch of randomly thrown tissue paper on the floor too.

“Roxy are you feeling a bit under the weather mate? Have you got a fever?”

She sat up, making several of the tissue paper fall onto the floor. Her pink eyes blankly gazed her room until they landed on Jake. 

“I really made a mess,” her last word was barely choked out before she covered her face and started bawling. 

Well, Jake needed no further invitation than that to walk in and console one of his very best friends. He did move a few of her plush toys out of the way so as not to further ruin her things. A miniature sea terror plushie, that rose knitted for her, which then Roxy somehow put in a princess dress, fell off the bed in his scuffle. He did manage to find a half-empty tissue box.

“There, there chum.” he patted her shoulder lightly as he sat by her side, “What seems to be the kerfuffle twisting your lacy undergarments this time?”

She made a very ugly booger sound trying to clear her throat and nose. 

Jake offered her the box of tissues and waited as she cleared her nose properly. After-which she immediately tossed all the tissues off her bed. It was a little gross, but at least she was more understandable. 

“I kept a secret from Dirk!” Oh no, she was tearing up again, “And now he hates me!” 

Jake was a little worried now. There were no more tissues left in the box, so he used both his hands to pat both of her shoulders.  
“Oh I’m sure Dirk could never hate you Roxy,” her shirt was horribly wrinkled and him patting the sleeves wouldn’t help even a little bit, “You two are more than peas in a pod, you are like tiny apes in a wooden cylinder!”

Roxy had to take a minute to think about that but then she let out a polite but quick exhale of breathe. He might have taken that as a laugh.

There was an urgent knocking on Roxy’s door. Both Jake and Roxy looked up though, she cringed and Jake guessed she might still be having a headache from all the crying. A muffled “Roxy! I need your help!” Jake recognized the voice right away and went to open the door. 

“Jade! What are you doing here?”

She gave him the most incredulous look she could muster as she gestured at him wildly with one hand, as the other was busy holding a heavy-looking bag and a note. She opened her mouth to accuse him of the same thing, but Deuce was walking down the hall. 

Jade turned to face the well dressed para and only just caught Roxy sneaking up on Jake to drag him away from the corner of her eye. Roxy thankfully had the foresight to cover Jakes mouth, and once he was caught up to speed with her quick gestures he went along with her directions without a fuss.  

Probably because she whispered “like a spy movie, Jake.” 

Jade didn’t try to hide the exasperation on her face as Deuce made his way to her.

“Have you seen a boy around here, Ms. Harley?” he asked in the smooth silky voice, only a gentleman would wear, it fit like a tailored glove. 

Jade has never been one to lie, but she was on a mission here and that mission required that her stupid brother didn’t get into detention for the next, uh, the next week would be nice. 

“Frankly, Mr. Deuce, I’ve been trying to avoid drama today and am only here to find Roxy. She shifted the heavy bag on her shoulder, it was getting irritating. “I wanted to work on a new project with her.”

“Hm,” Deuce narrowed his eyes in thought and peeked around the slightly open door. It was enough for him to see Roxy’s mess of a bed, but at least Jade had half a mind to close the door.

“I don’t think she’s been having a good day so this project is supposed to cheer her up a little...maybe.”

Deuce have her a lazy blink. “That sounds like drama to me.” he sighed and reached for his phone to check the time. “Well, my shift is about over anyway. This will be Slick’s problem soon so don’t cause me any trouble until then.” He put his phone away and kept walking down the hall at a leisurely pace. 

Jade would really like to know where he goes shopping for his clothes. It would be a nice thing to have and give to Dave since he says he’s been wanting a nice suit, well, in that roundabout way he says it, but she’s sure that’s what he meant.

When Deuce walked around a corner, Jade opened the door again.  
“I’m coming in. The coast is clear.” She whispered into an empty room. Nobody answered her back, but she stepped in anyway and turned around to close the door. 

“Wow thanks for your fast thinking in getting us out of that conniption, sis. I don’t think I could have chutzpah’d my way out of it better!” Jake laughed at himself as he crawled out from under Roxy’s bed. One of Roxy’s stuffed cat toys fell on his head, knocking his glasses skewed.

Roxy walked out from behind one of her long, hand-knitted curtains, made from Rose one birthday ago. She was already brushing her frizzled hair but her pink eyes were still bloodshot from all the crying.

“Hey, girl! What’s this about a project?”

Jade’s face lit up as she swung her heavy bag onto Roxy’s messy bed.

“Well!” She smiled as she moved things clear from the bed to make space for the things she brought. “I’m pretty sure I got all the stuff on this list to make something like a radio. But putting it all together is not my area of expertise and also, I think there is some programming to be done.” She smiled as several mechanical parts were in full view to her friend and brother.

“You don’t have instructions for what you’re trying to make?” Jake asked as he looked over the items and carefully picked up a small chip with the SN logo on the back.

“Nope! But I figure you guys and Dirk could all make a group project of it, since he is good with machines too.” Jade smiled her buck teeth widely at Roxy.

Both Roxy and Jake hesitated.

“Well, I’m sure he couldn’t say no to you Roxy! Even if you fought, you’re still old chums and something like that could never muddy up your friendship waters.”

“Yeah? Yeah! He, um, well I think I need to come clean about a couple things before I ask for his help.” She looked up at Jake and Jane quickly, “But we’re all going to John’s house tonight, she checked the horrible-looking, wall watch Dave gave her last year. 

It had the wonkiest clock arms with a picture of Dave’s hand drawn jpeg computer cartoons as decoration. Every number that was supposed to be there was a short pattern of 420, 69, 413, the words stairs and hammer, over and over again. Roxy had laughed her ass off and Dirk actually giggled. 

Dave later told her the secret to using the nonfunctional thing to actually tell time and it has never been wrong.

“We have, like, four hours to get ready you guys.” She had more of a determined look on her face now, “And I’m going to want two of those to pretty-ify my beautiful face and wear something smashing!” 

“That sounds like quite a production,” Jake laughed, “I’ll get out of  your way then. Jade, are you coming?” He asked as he stepped closer to the door. 

“Nope!” Jade waved her hand at Jake vaguely, “I wanted to propose something else to Roxy too--”

“Wow, you are just springing these projects like Oprah!” Roxy giggled

Jade giggled with her, before looking at Jake, “And anyway, you should probably ask Dirk about this new invention too. I think he wanted to see you. We bumped into each other in the machinery room and he helped me find some stuff. I think he wanted to see you.”

Jake bit his lip for a second.

“Well, Yes! Only the best chums would absolutely want to see each other after being so far apart for so long.” He forced a laugh out and blinked rapidly, “Where did you say you saw him again?”

“Hm, the mechanic’s section lab on campus, but I don’t know if he’s still there. He said he would be heading to John’s house after a shower.”

“Oh! That sounds great. I may just be able to catch him at the party instead. I’ll be spotting you there like a rifle to a quail.” Jake winked at them and only Jade winked back while Roxy gave him a semi-confused smile.

He was in a little bit of a rush to get to John’s house that he had completely forgotten to look out for Deuce or indeed, Slick, since it was apparently already his shift. And the man was patrolling away from the girl’s dormitory door, but he could turn around at any moment. 

Jake didn’t believe anyone hoped for a distraction of some kind more than he did now. Wow, was he ever so bad at sneaking around.

“Hey. Slick.” Someone else called to the grumpy man from across the sidewalk where the boy’s dormitory sat. Oh, it was Dirk.

Jake froze, but Mr. Spades Slick was already turning around to face the one who dared call for his attention.

“What?!” Slick called irritably. The man was well known for his sour attitude, and only a few students ignored all of that in favor of getting away with cursing and discussing sharp objects around him. Two things he didn’t mind at all.

“I need your opinion about this blade.” Dirk said, nonplussed by Slick’s intimidating behaviour. He pulled his phone out to show a picture. 

Of course Slick couldn’t see it from his distance so he grumbled to himself as he walked toward Dirk. 

Jake hesitated for a second but then quickly absconded to go around the girl’s building where Slick couldn’t see toward the school’s backyard and then around the back of the boy’s dormitory, as if he’d just gotten out of one of the rooms. By the time he saw Dirk again, his friend was already waving by to the grumpy security detail.

Dirk’s shaded face then looked towards Jake, waiting for him to catch up before walking down the sidewalk toward the parking lot. Jake was sweating a little bit and most of it was from his short sprint around the school. 

“Hel-Hello, old chum!” That didn’t come out as loud or as confident as Jake wanted. Dirk didn’t comment on it and put his phone away in his pocket.

“Hey.”   
“I, wow, you did save the old rooster from quite a pickle there. I wasn’t sure what I would have done if not for your quick thinking, Dirk.”

“What are friends for?” Dirk’s tone was so dead, that Jake wasn’t sure if it was an actual question instead of a rhetorical one. It didn’t take long to get to his truck. There was a perfectly recognizable character painted on the side of the bright orange paint. Hella Jeff seemed to be staring at them in greeting with all his shitty graphic glory.

“Do you want a ride?” Dirk asked as he unlocked the car doors with a button on his keys.

“It seems like you keep saving me the trouble of being in too much trouble chum. You are a regular prince charming!” Jake said thoughtlessly as he opened the passenger door. He didn’t get to go in though because Dirk was blocking his way before Jake could blink.  
“You’re staying with the Egberts, right?”

Jake’s reply almost died in his throat. 

“I, uh. Yes.”

Dirk put the keys against Jake’s chest, thankfully not stabbing him with the keys or a shitty jpeg sword keychain. 

“Then you drive. I’m not running a charity, here.” This time there was a fraction of a smile visible. Jake started protesting, he had only just gotten his permit before he went on the trip but hadn’t had much practice on an island.

All Did was sit in the seat, close the door and motion dirk to go around the truck to the driver’s seat. Jake stopped trying to reason with his friend and got in the driver’s seat. 

“I’ll be right here.” Dirk promised and he quietly told Jake what he needed to do. 

Jake was indeed rusty in his driving skills but they managed to park by the street of John’s house without any major damage to Dirk’s truck. He think’s most of his fear passed after they stopped driving so close to the highway. 

“Here we are.” Jake turned the engine off, grateful at last that he wasn’t in charge of a moving death trap.  
“Yes.” Dirk looked at the house.

It was still early and no one else had gotten to the Egbert estate, except maybe Jane was still inside. Cleaning Jake’s mess…wow he suddenly didn’t want to leave the truck.

“Before we go inside,” Dirk said

“I wanted to,” Jake said at the same time. 

Dirk stopped talking and Jake shook his head quickly.  
“No, I mean, you started first. I’m sorry old chum for interrupting like that. Go ahead.” 

“When you left, it wasn’t the best farewell in the history of waving someone away.” Dirked looked from the window to lap.

“No! No! I think I’m the one who should apologize! Oh wait I did just say I would let you speak didn’t I? And then I went and fumbled it and dropped the intent right at your feet Dirk! I can be a real block head sometimes!”

“Mm, maybe, but,” he looked back into the house for a second, “not anymore than everyone else has lately.” Dirk’s head tilted down and Jake knew he was avoiding looking at him. “Other times you are just as bright.” Yeah, the lint on Dirk’s dress pants need extra special attention now.

Jake started laughing uncomfortably, “Wow, that is something truly nice to say Dirk. I will like to keep it in my compliment deposits to take out on a rainy day, or whenever I would actually deserve it, because right now I don’t know if you are just saying it to be nice, because,”  
“I mean it.” Dirk says looking up at him suddenly, “You belong here as much as everyone else.” Jake almost didn’t catch that last bit because Dirk’s voice got mysteriously quieter. 

This time Jake’s short laugh, came out wetly.

“Wow, I, wow,” he laughed a bit again, “You really are laying it thick there. I uh, I don’t think I deserve this praise?” he sounded a little unsure of himself.

“But maybe you deserve an apology.” Dirk said, forcing himself to look at his old crush’s eyes. “I should have paid more attention--”

“Wait, wait! No I don’t think you owe me a single thing, old chum! You were obviously very busy, what with finding information on their lost ship out there and I was no help at all.”

Dirked sighed. “No. I’m sure you did whatever you needed to in order to have some semblance of a life not revolved around an obsessed man on a mission who never found the white whale of his focus. Instead, the white whale was harpooned accidentally into the void of the ocean when i turned my back on the body.”

“Is that what all the fuss with Roxy was pickled about?” Dirk didn’t reply so Jake kept speaking, “She did mention that you hated her forever or something and I assured her it was peacock hogwash.” Jake smiled. “She also said she wanted to make it up to you. Oh! And Jade broke into her room as well showing us some interesting machinery that we could all possibly,” Jake looked at how close one of his hands had landed near Dirk, “work on it together?”

Jake peeked at Dirk. He couldn’t see Dirk’s eyes through the ironically-claimed-anime-eye-wear, but his head was tilted down so he didn’t see Jake looking at him.

“We’ll see.” Dirk said and then he looked up and extended a hand out expectantly. “Keys.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dirk and Jake are hard characters for me to write in the ways that I do relate to them and the ways that I don't so I hope whatever I do write, comes out (makes seesaw hand motion) okay?


	8. Set the pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose picks up some books and then goes to a party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> life has been hectic but i'm slowly catching up with some projects :>

Rose Lalonde waltzed into the school’s vast library as if dark magic dripped from her long, purple dress. Her short, platinum blonde hair, held by dark purple headband, barely swayed at the smooth steps of her black flats. 

The fact that there weren’t very many people in the area didn’t stop her entrance or momentum from carrying the weight of a thousand dark mysteries pouring from her presence. The people who did see her, would swear they felt chills running down their spines as she passed by them.

Her black lipstick betrayed a slight smile of how much she knew everyone saw her; it was in fact, exactly how she wanted to be seen. The power one can wield simply in how they dressed could at times be too much temptation to ignore.

However when she reached the librarian’s desk, the only reaction she received was a warm smile as the lady looked up from the computer. In contrast to Rose’s outfit, this staff member was dressed for comfort, with a simple black t-shirt, black pants, and a light jacket with white stars on the dark blue cloth.

“Hello, Rose. You look amazing as always.” She leaned forward to better see her entire outfit. “Hmm, but are you going someplace extra special today? Oh, isn’t it your friend’s birthday? How is John?” the librarian, kindly nicknamed Deli, leaned back to pluck out a heavy basket full of psychology and mythology research material. 

Rose leaned in to look through the books. 

“Firstly, thank you for the compliment. I am flattered, truly.” she said it in a tone that could almost be taken as sarcastic. Several other teachers have had somewhat undignified responses to her tone of voice and it is ever so fascinating to see them struggle. 

“As you should be.” Deli smiled. 

“Yes. Well, it is my dear friend’s birthday, so we’ll be having a get together at his father’s house.” Oh she finally found a book not on her reading list.

“It sounds like a good time.” 

“Yes. Speaking of a good time,” Rose pulled the book out, the title facing the librarian and held an eyebrow up as a question. “Is there an interesting story with this book?”

“Well, not really. I came in this morning and saw it leaning on a pumpkin on my desk. So I went to pick it up and once I looked inside, I thought it was yours. See,” she reached over to turn the blank cover only to find the title of the book in the second page. It was titled,  Rose’s Adventure, Part One , in something that looked like her purple text color from her pesterlogs. 

“Hmm,” Rose turned the book over to flip through the pages. Some parts of the book held notes, commenting on certain events. The handwriting was lovely, but the writing style seemed antiquated and was also in a shade of green she couldn’t place at the moment.

She closed the book.

“Then, I would like to check this out, please.” 

“I don’t think you need to check it out, seeing as it was written by you and it’s also not registered in our logs.” Deli sat back in her chair and shrugged. “If you really don’t want it I could probably add it into our logs, but I would have to find out who the author is and that just seems like a lot of work.”

“Ah, I see, it would me doing you the favor in this instance wouldn’t it?” Rose smiled.

“Yes please don’t make me do more work than I have to.” The librarian laughed.

It didn’t take long for Rose to have her books checked out and then store them all away in her room. The only book she didn’t store away was the mystery pumpkin book, of which she read while walking to class, after finishing her assignments in class and while walking to John’s house for his party. 

Of course she made sure to put the book down as she crossed any road. It was always her pleasure to stare drivers down as she passed. Their uncertain look of whether they have just been hexed may or may not validate the power she held over possible accidents. 

When she arrived at the Egbert estate, she was mindful enough to tuck her book away in her bag and made a quick pace towards Dirk in order to discuss their birthday gift for John.

It didn’t take long for the rest of their friends to gather at John’s home, though since there were so many people, the party was held in the backyard. It was thanks to Roxy, Jane and Mr. Egbert that any semblance of order was followed. The order included greeting everyone, setting gifts on a far right table, grabbing food from the table placed in the middle, and eating said food, at the far left table. 

Several jokes of ‘flipping tables’ were had. Some variations of flipping chairs and then maybe the house, were added in near the end. Afterwhich, the kids stated how much they missed each other, what the others missed on their own adventures. There was a consistency of someone getting up for different reasons. Peers would leave for bathroom breaks, or second helpings, or secret whisperings of soon-to-be-opened birthday presents. 

Mr. Egbert and Jane were the true heroes of the party considering how well prepared they proved when the challenge was to feed eight teenagers and one sly adult. Dave put himself in charge of the music playing in the background.  Roxy managed to wrangle party hats onto every single person. Even Dirk could be seen with one of those child hats, that had a spinning fan at the top. Rose wore a hat that draped over her head like a dark, glittery octopus. 

When everyone finished eating their food, Mr. Egbert preformed a magic trick by pulling a perfectly, iced cake out of his hat. With the exception of John, everyone was impressed and clapped at the performance.

“Daaad,” John groaned. The lit cake was set before him and he squirmed in his seat, uncomfortably.

“It is ice cream cake, John.” Mr. Egbert explained patiently.”

His son seemed more suspicious than pleased at the type of cake in front of him. He squirmed lower in his seat. 

“I made it myself, John.” Jane smiled. 

John sank lower in his chair.

“Isn’t it everything you wanted and more. John.” Rose grinned, showing her teeth. A rational person would be convinced she wanted to render their flesh from their bones. John just sank lower in his chair, almost to the point of being eye to eye with the edge of the table. 

That was when Dave leaned over, squeezing past Rose to blow out John’s candles himself. Rose saw it coming of course so she conveniently leaned out of the way so Dave could get it over with faster. 

Everyone else looked absolutely scandalized or at the least surprised, but Dave kept responding as if he hadn’t stepped on a child’s sand castle-level of what was a perfectly suburban birthday tradition.

“The candles are out now. Can we have cake yet?” he said as a matter of fact.

Several “shame on you Dave,” and one whispered, “I owe you my life,” later, the kids moved on to the gifts-part of the party.

Rose and Dirk got him a half mechanical, half knitted bunny in a box. It could act as his trickster companion with it’s camera advantage. Their only request was that John not use the bunny for pranks on them, or John’s poor movie collection and posters would be in mortal peril.

Roxy got him a wizard figurine that actually doubled as a secret hiding spot for whatever he wanted. When John opened it, the wizard’s held a smaller version of the strong batter that could last for years. In this case, the battery from the wizard would last about a year and change.

Jane gave him a recipe to make edible ‘ecto-slime’ popsicles. John gave her a big hug and a whispered ‘happy birthday’ before moving on to Dave’s gift. The self-proclaimed, coolest DJ in the year had remixed all the music from the Ghostbusters and Con Air soundtracks. Hal made music videos for all of the tracks.

Jade and Jake stood up and with Dave’s help on the sound system he set up, they held a small concert. Jade played the base and Jake was on the drums. 

Mr. Egbert recorded the whole thing and so did Dave, but it would obviously be for remixing purposes, if anyone asked.

“If it’s not too much trouble, Mr. Egbert,” Roxy began nervously, “would it be terrible of me to ask if you could get started on those copies now?”

Mr. Egbert lowered the camera he had been using and took a thoughtful look at Roxy. 

“It’s no trouble at all, young lady,” he smiled, “And it would give me something to do while you kids discussed private matters among each other.”

“Oh, uh.” Now Roxy and a couple other kids seemed like they couldn’t look away fast enough, even if their posture seemed like nothing was amiss at all.

John was the first one who stood up to hug his father. 

“Thanks, dad. You’re the best!” A couple of the other kids stood up to hug him and then he gathered the cake, with a few other presents before departing.

“If you need anything I’ll be inside.” He assured and the door closed behind him.

“I still have no idea how your dad is able to balance all those things like they are nothing, John. He must have gotten to clown school and those fools were so impressed by his skills they gave him a certificate on the first day.” Dave rambled as he settled in his chair.

“He said he’s never went to clown school.” John shrugged.

“Perhaps then, Clown school went to him instead.” Rose smiled, that rare smile that happens when she is being silly. 

“You can’t take the clown school out of a man.” Dirk agreed.

A few giggles rippled out until John leaned forward.  
“So, since I’m the birthday king, I wanted to start out by telling you all about this crazy adventure that happened to me already!”

Roxy stood up. “Wait! Wait, John. Let me start from the beginning first. I just need to bring Hal out real quick.” She ruffled through her bag to connect some speakers onto her phone on the table.

“Technically speaking, I have always been here. The more present voice is appreciated, however. Thank you Roxy.”

They began by explaining that it was one of Dirk’s machines that found something, but it was Hal and Roxy who looked into it with every intention of showing their work. However, it began to get weird when Hal explained everything like it was yesterday, but Roxy explained it like it was two days ago and the weirdness only piled up when John also explained the weird things happening on his yesterday, but also on his birthday.

“So,” Dirk spoke up when they finished their admittingly unbelievable tale, “Why is it that none of what they just said seemed to surprise you in the slightest Rose?”

Now everyone looked at Rose but she fixed her unperturbed gaze at him, raising only one delicate eyebrow. 

“But of course I was surprise by everything they said Dirk. Or I should say all the way up until John said he lost the book I sent him.” She reached around to her large, eldritch-monster-designed bag, “Do you know the librarian?”

There were several nods among the group.

“Well, today when I went to pick up new books to read, she slipped me this book. Does this look familiar to you, John?” 

“Oh!” John stood up and pointed at the ragged novel in her hands. And indeed, it was the small novel Rose managed to code into the game, which met an unfortunate fate of flying into the unknown. And now it is here.

“Well, I did ask her where she found it and she said she saw it leaning on a pumpkin but when she picked up the book the pumpkin was gone.”

“Oh! Oh! Oh!” Now it was Jade who stood up and pointed at Rose. She considered stating that it was rude to point at people, but that would be more something her mother would say, so no need to bring up the subject at all. 

“I saw the pumpkin today too!” Jade pulled out a note and waved her pointed finger to Roxy, Jake and Dirk. “I need your help in getting this stuff. I think we’re building radios!” 

Dirk managed to snatch the note from Jade to look at the list.

“Very fancy radios.” Dirk confirmed. There was a small red light that went off on Dirk’s glasses. Rose guessed that it was merely because Hal wanted to show off his skills instead because he actually needed to flash for photography. 

“It seems like we are meant to connect it to a land line of some kind.” Hal commented  
“You wouldn’t suppose we are being guided to gab with those aliens Roxy mentioned do you?” Jake asked her.

“Ooh!” She stood up in excitement.

“Before we begin the descent down this rabbit hole,” Dirk interrupted, “perhaps we should take a look at the validity of this so proclaimed alien erupting technology.”

“Wait a minute, here!” Jane piped up, “Wouldn’t that be breaking and entering? If this place really did belong to our parents then their company should take a look at the place first.”

“If our parents wanted them to know about it why would they hide it?” Roxy asked.  
“She’s right. There are no records of that bunker in the school's information bank. The only architectural knowledge of anything there is a supposedly abandoned sewer there that goes nowhere.” Hal chimed in. 

“Come on, Jane! Where is your sense of adventure!” Jake stood up as if they were about to go exploring that very moment.

“Yeah, or your sleuthing skills!” John added.

Jane frowned as she put her hand to her chin in concentration. 

“Well, if we find out why they needed to keep things secret in the first place and see that they don’t need to anymore, then, we should tell the authorities.” She looked around to everyone. “Is that agreed?” 

There were nods around the table. Some agreed quickly, others shrugged as if they didn’t care and few, like Dirk, Roxy and Rose nodded hesitantly.

“We should probably do some research on their process to find that out.” Dirk suggested. “To see about what they deemed as safe or not.”

“Or indeed, whether they had their own definitions of what is safe.” Rose added.

“We are going to go by the book on safety regulations so as not to get confused about all that.” Jane said solidly and there will be little arguing about that.

“Well, we’re not going to find anything now if we wait here all day!” Jade stood up in excitement. “We should go now!”

“Hey Harley, as much fun as it sounds to just leave my excellent sounding devices outside for bugs and the weather to wreck it, how about we don’t do that?” Dave grumbled, leaning back enough to tip his chair a bit. 

“Yes. I do believe we should pack first if want to be ready for the adventure ahead of us!” Jake stood next to Jade, only to raise his fist in the air dramatically. “We’re going to have so much fun!” 

“I believe we should be well prepared for the expedition by tomorrow. We have no classes and the full day to ourselves then, so it seems like the best course at this time.” Rose stated. She looked around her group of friends. “But for now, was there some other thing we needed to discuss before we part ways?”

A somber mood passed rather quickly around the table. 

“Ah, you mean any thoughts we would have about our parents?” Jake asked as he sat himself down again. 

Jade sat next to him but didn’t offer any words other than quick pats on Jake’s shoulder. Dave stopped tilting his chair back and forth, only to slowly sit properly again. Jane set her head on her hands and took a deep breath.

“I’m not sure that there is much to say on the matter other than we miss them and wish to see them again.” she said.

Dirk crossed his arms. “But whatever we find out from this new secret might give us some answers.” He seemed like he would start looking towards one of them but instead he bowed his head. “We might even find things that have us say more about them once we understand what they left behind.” 

Rose felt her hands, which had been relaxed on her lap, clenching. There were so many things she still didn’t feel like she understood about her guardian, her mother. Maybe if they had more time, they could have grown to understand each other, but she has no way to bring back the past. At least not something so far back, and not with what she knows so far anyway.

Roxy was the one who stood up this time.

“Well then it’s official. We’re going to postpone our, um,” she took a deep breath, “our thoughts and feelings about our parents until after this new discovery is well and truly un-secreted. So. What would be a good time to meet tomorrow?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The most important questions, is what is their choice of transportation?? bouncy shoes or grappling hook??


	9. Sollux: Complete Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The humans said they would help, but that just means more work for one Sollux Captor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn guys it has been a WHILE. So here is an extra long chapter to make up for it.

The data of binary numbers trickled in the edges of his consciousness, cluing him in that he wasn’t awake a moment ago. Artificial information solidifies into what he recognizes as the space in which he is held. It is a small corner of unpaused space in a frozen world.

Memories of how he got there and how to do anything in general were being recalled. He put that to use as he moved his lips. Sound wasn’t present, instead, yellow text formed above his head.

you diidn’t warn me before makiing me 2leep, aa

He accused to the empty space before him. He doesn’t bother to wait for a reply as he carefully sits up, aware of the dangerous thorns a couple feet around him in every direction. The thorns shone at the tips with a pink hue, the only clue that they would mess him up if touched.

His glasses always have several links connecting him to the goings-on of his current digital prison. This may be a space created by code but anytime he isn’t confined in one metaphorical area is a better time than this. Lucky he had plenty of practice in staying in one position for long periods of time when he sat in front of his hubtop at his home, but that’s not the point. With a flicker of thought, the status on the worlds that are unpaused, paused and destroyed pops up in a window. He isn’t expecting to see both the worlds of Void and Breath to be unpaused. His eyes widened and he popped open a new window, making sure to add the two new players to the chat.

twinArmaggedon [TA]  opened chat window, adiosToreador [AT]  and centaursTesticle [CT]  have been added to chat window.

TA: guy2??  
AT: uH, hELLO,  
CT: D -->Sollux, I am very busy with other operations can we talk later

centaursTesticle is an idle chum

TA: well fuck you two  
AT: yEAH, tHAT WASN’T TOO, uM  
TA: anyway tv  
AT: yEAH?  
TA: how do you feel about iinvertiing your a2pect to help kk wake up  
AT: uH, THAT SOUNDS DANGEROUS,  
AT: bUT, iF IT WILL HELP KARKAT, tHEN  
TA: yeah  
TA: iit probably wiill be dangerou2 but we could try iit and you know aa can turn back tiime iif 2omethiing goe2 wrong  
AT: uH,  
AT: bUT WHAT IF WE ASK THE ALIENS?  
AT: uM, aRADIA TOLD ME I WOKE UP BECAUSE THEY CAME IN,

Sollux leaned away from the screen and wished he could sigh. While on the one hand that was all true, on the other, he was never one to put all his hopes in one cluckbeast basket. That’s how you get fucked over if something goes wrong. Or at least that seemed to be the source of rage from any of his victims hit by one of his viruses. They made the rookie mistake of never having a backup. Sollux is no rookie.

AT: hELLO,  
AT: aRE YOU STILL THERE,  
TA: ye2 tv  
AT: oH, gOOD THEN,  
AT: i, kINDA THINK WE SHOULD TALK TO THEM, mAYBE THEY’LL HELP  
TA: and iif they deciide two de2troy u2 iin2tead?  
AT: uM, i HADN’T THOUGHT ABOUT THAT

apocalypseArisen has entered the chat

AA: there is n0 use in w0rrying  
AA: i have a back up plan  
AA: and y0u have guests

A new window opened showing a few cameras in the building you and your friends have apparently been confined into. There are several aliens making their way down a long underground tube. They are all riding different mechanical velocity devices. Some that are just wheels on shoes, wheels on planks, large wheels with one seat on it, one of his friends who rides a one-wheeled device might appreciate that.

TA: tv are you 2eeiing them  
AT: yES, i AM  
AT: tHEY LOOK SO,  
AT: aLIEN,  
AA: every0ne needs t0 see them  
TA: well ii gue22 we’re goiing two talk two them now

It didn’t take very long for the aliens to reach the transferal pod floor, which is what the systems he managed to get information on called the floor where it held the cube of data that were now his friends and himself. This is such a mess.

There was no audio connected to that floor but judging by the way that pink-haired alien shook her finger and pointed everyone toward the elevator he guessed they weren’t going to shove themselves into unknown machines like idiots. A few stragglers made him think there were idiots among the group but at least he can put some faces to who might cause accidental trouble.

They talked among themselves some more before the elevator door opened, they peeked inside, and then four of them decide to stay behind while four of them move to the next floor. Well that’s odd, but he guessed they didn’t want to be squeezed together like ocean beasts in a metal container.

It’s only when the first group makes it to the floor with what passes for alien computers that Sollux’s fingers start flying over the keys available to him. He makes the screen they see light up twice with red and blue. There is no way they’ll miss his message. The alien, Roxy, runs towards the monitor with some douche in sharp-looking eyewear right after her. He seems to be telling her something as he hovers near her shoulder. She rolls her eyes and replies but that doesn’t stop her from putting in the same program from before.

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering autonomicResponder [AR]

TG: hiya cutie we’re back!  
TG: and this time we bought  
TG: *brought  
AR: I am actually here physically for the first time as well.  
AR: Although Roxy mentioned I had been here before.

TA: ii don't know about that  
TA: ii was a2leep.

The guy in shades next to Roxy speaks again and this is getting annoying.

TA: hey douchecanoe2 thiis program ha2n’t been connected to the 2peaker 2y2tem 2o maybe iit 2hould be fixed fiir2t  
TA: what iif the iidiiot in the gla22e2 was a2kiing something and ii wa2 two deaf two hear it?  
TA: and wa2 Hal lying two me about not beiing a human beiing or whatever you call your2elf  
TA: whiich one of you ii2 he  
TA: ii bet iit2 the one behind Roxy

Her face lit up as she mouthed something and began speaking enthusiastically. The guy behind her frowned and shook his head

AR: That is such an embarrassing thing for you to say.  
AR: I would feel embarrassed for you if I had the chemical reaction to feel embarrassed.  
AR: I am behind Roxy. But look closely at the glasses  
AR: That’s me.   
AR: In all my physical glory.  
AR: Enjoy the fucking light show.

There was a bright red light that shone in one of the lenses of the sharp eye-wear. The light on the dark glass blinked rapidly and then paused as it blinked, only to blink rapidly again. Sollux squinted, it reminded him of either a malfunctioning machine or one of Equius’s robots.

centaursTesticle [CT]  began pestering twinArmagedon [TA] 

CT: D --> Is that machine asking for help  
CT: D --> I didn’t know this lower class of being had the brains to understand one of the older codes kept to higher ranks of bl00d for subtlety.  
CT: D --> Hmm  
CT: D --> Well that is both and e%ellent thing for them to know and revolving thing for an inferior species to use.  
CT: D --> I fear I may have been perple%ed

Alright? Sollux goes back to the other tab.

TA: diid you just u2e code two 2iignal for help?

The person with the glasses shakes his head again and exhales quickly.

AR: My, my.  
AR: Did you also learn that from the information you have on this machine?

TA: no  
TA: iif only

Something happens with what Roxy is doing so Sollux began reading the history of her changes. Turns out she was connecting the systems natural connection to audio, because apparently even across species its just natural for machines to have speakers in them, even if they don’t always work.

With Hal's help, she managed to take sound programs, artificial voices it looks like, and connect them to the texting codes and speakers of the main computer. Sollux opened the sound programs to mess with the voice settings. There are some automatic voice settings, some with artificial programs that are basically spam bots and finally, the ones that are supposed to be artificial voices for music.

Seeing as the music ones have the perk of changing how something is said based on the text they are easier to work with, never mind that he would probably sound stupid with the spam bot’s voices. It takes some time before he manages to figure out where in the code he could adjust the tones to make it sound like an adolescent troll who is tired of everyone’s shit.

He would have to guess at what it was his voice used to sound like. It has been a long time. Oh well, it’s not like the aliens are going to know.

Damn, he’s probably going to have to make one for the rest of his friends too isn’t he? As if he wasn’t busy enough already. While he’s working, Roxy and Hal manage to complete the connection between the system’s speakers in the building. He can finally hear sounds.

“So it can make its own programs it doesn’t prove that this is not a more advanced AI than Hal.” The guy behind Roxy states. “They were our parents, of course they could make something like Hal.”

“Dirk, you’re being a real tool right now. Think about their feelings!” Roxy rolled her eyes but kept typing on the keyboard. “Oh, that should fix the sound problem. Can you hear me?” She blinked at the camera expectantly.

Well, he just finished busting this code out because that’s how great he is, but he hasn’t spoken with any kind of sound in so long this feels like stepping through some grand doorway that could possibly lead to new worlds.

“I can hear you.” Sollux said. Wow, he actually just said that. It came from him. It sounded like him. Well, maybe with a few more tweaks it will sound better, but this will do for now.

AA: start making 0ne f0r me and then f0r karkat  
AA: i have a plan

apocalypseArisen has left the chat

Well, okay then.

Roxy bounced in her seat once and breathed out, “Heck yes! That’s how we roll, Hal!”

“Yes, Roxy. I am high-fiving you in my mind.” A slightly more artificial voice similar to the dude in the shades spoke. Said dude in the shades didn’t seem too happy, but the other humans who were in the room seemed more interested than they did before.

“Hello! My name is John.” Another guy in glasses, clear classes this time as Sollux could see bright blue eyes through them, spoke. He walked closer to the computer and waved his hand to gesture at the others. “You know Roxy and Hal. They’re our tech wizards and super good at getting around undetected. This guy is Dirk,” he rested his hand on the douche with the shades, who seemed to lower his shoulders as if exhausted and yet had the gall to frown at the screen.

“Yes, I’m the one who created Hal with some help from Roxy.” Dirk confirmed.

Then John, stepped back and let another human walk towards the monitor. “And this is Rose. We’re just super excited to meet you!”

The Rose person, had dark painted lips and she smiled slowly as she looked at the monitor with her purple eyes. For a moment Sollux would swear she could actually see him, but she blinked and the moment was over. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. If you wouldn’t mind introducing yourself so that we may call you something other than the-voice-in-the-box-we-found-from-our-guardians, that would be grand.”

“My name is Sollux Captor. I’m a seven sweeps old troll who got saved and trapped simultaneously in this box. The same thing happened to my friends, both fortunate and guilty by association were sentenced to death by our merciless ruler. This thing was on a time schedule and just needed a little power to kick itself back to where it originated from, so I would very much like to get out of here.” Several of the humans blinked, but it was Rose who spoke first.

“There is a lot to unpack here.”

John speaks second. “Actually that might have to wait. The others still haven’t got the elevator working yet.” he moves his phone near Roxy so she could hear Jane on the speaker phone.

“I’ve tried everything you suggested and the elevator doors still haven’t opened.” Jane said, sounding quite done with everything.

Dirk leaned closer to the screen.

“What is your endgame?” he asks.

“Are you seriously expecting me to have control of the elevators--?” Sollux’s sentence was cut short when the whole floor was dropped into darkness. Several things happened at the same time. He finished Aradia’s voice settings. The temperature in the room dropped judging by the numbers on the desktop screen. Jane and other voices on the phone began screaming, there was a big clack sound and then everyone’s voices were muffled.

The lights came back on.

Dirk, Roxy and John were talking at the same time trying to ask Jane or if anyone else was still there and what was happening. Nobody replied back, but a new window popped on Sollux’s screen. He had to flip it in order to see what it said.

Transfer Dave? Y/N  
Transfer Jane? Y/N  
Transfer Jake? Y/N  
Transfer Jade? Y/N

He saw the controls but the computer program was asking whoever was seated out there, in this case Roxy, to press enter instead of him. He heard her screech right before a new voice spoke.

Virtualization completed.

Sollux’s eyes widened as new information cards and worlds were activated by the mere presence of new players in the cube. New notifications were popping up in his screens and both Tavros and Equius were asking what was going on but Sollux got busy trying to save all the information and see the rising lights of newly active players.

Hal pulled up another window looking into the programs that would make this possible for the machines downstairs to transfer organic beings into digital data. Sollux managed to peek at the window and quickly saved the information, which actually turned out to be several links to other documents, programs and carefully balanced equations. Sollux is going to have to look into that later, possibly even present it to one of his other friends since a lot of this information wasn’t in his wheelhouse.

Three new worlds have been activated. Oh and also, the humans are yelling at him, but he has to check on his friends first. Their names are lit up so he added them all into a memo.

twinArmagedon [TA]opened Memo: type iif you're 2tiill aliive  
[TA]added cuttlefushCuller [CC]  caligulasAquarium [CA]  grimAuxiliatrix [GA] 

TA: ii would appreciiate iit iif you would follow iin2structiions  
CC: ) (oly makeral! You did it! 38)  
CA: wwell it’s about time  
GA: I Must Admit  
GA: Not Being Frozen Is My Preferred Option

If Sollux believed in any gods or was indoctrinated into a cult, he might be thanking all of them, or most of them. Not all of his friends are active yet. And it looked as if the humans have moved from shouting to threats.

TA: iim glad you are all unpaused  
TA: are you able to move around becau2e ii need you two look for aliiens  
TA: they 2hould be on your worlds  
CA: and you need us to hunt them dowwn  
CA: understood

caligulasAquarium has left the memo

TA: NO  
TA: that iidiiot!  
TA: we are currently trying two work WITH these aliens not antagonize them  
CC: Don’t worry. I will go track ) (im down and make sure ) (e doesn’t krill too many guppies! 38D

cuttlefishCuller has left the memo

TA: how does kk do iit??  
TA: thii2 ii2 exhau2tiing  
GA: All The More Reason To Wake Him Up I Imagine  
GA: For What It Is Worth  
GA: I Believe You Have Done An Adequate Job  
TA: whatever  
TA: ii ju2t want thii2 two be over already  
TA: ii have two get back two the human2  
TA: they’re called humans by the way  
GA: I Will Make A Note Of That  
TA: let me know when you found your human  
GA: I Will

grimAuxiliatrix left memo

Twinarmagedon closed memo: type iif you are 2tiill aliive

Sollux focused on the audio again, managing to catch the tail end of a conversation.

“I’m telling you, they are going to be okay--” John said.

“You don’t have any proof!” Dirk shouted. “I’m not calling video-game health cards as proof!”

“But you’re also not calling John and my experience as proof either! We know what we’re talking about.” Roxy stood up from the chair, sounding very fed up.

“You were sleep deprived!” Dirk states in exasperation.

Whoa, sounds like they were arguing for a while and Sollux wasn’t even gone very long.

“I’m not sure I want to get in the middle of this, but some of my friends have been unpaused and I had to check on them.” He quickly threw up images of new worlds. Sollux zoomed in on their locations and unknown new players locations nearby, making sure to send those locations to his friends, minus Eridan, he sent those locations to Feferi. Hopefully she would work with the information in a smarter way than him.

“Your friends are the ones approaching our friends?” Hal asks as he pulls the information towards a projector next to the monitors and clears one of the three screens to keep track of his friends. Audio connection has been established with them.

“Can they hear us?” Rose asks as she approaches the far right monitor where Hal opened communications. Several new windows opened to the sides, just sporting text in different colors.

World: Time  
The land of Heat and Clockwork

Dave: yeah i can hear you but i don’t see you  
Dave: also this place is wack but i can dig my kicks

World: Life  
The land of Crypts and Helium

Jane: Rose? Is that you? I don’t seem to know where I am? I think we got shoved into one of the machines below you and now we are somewhere else.

World: Space  
The land of Frost and Frogs

Jade: this place is so weird and i’m wearing different clothes and everything is surrounded by snow!

World: Hope  
The land of Mounds and Xenon

Jake: This place is amazing! I could do with different clothes, but I can feel the adventure in the air!

After their first sentence Sollux saw Hal reopen the audio programs as well as recorded voices he had in his personal files to create artificial voices for them. Sollux had just finished getting halfway through creating voices for his list of friends. He sends the finished ones to them with a link titled: The Gift of Gab

He’s not sure how Hal saw this, but he decides to send the voices to his friends with the same link title. It isn’t long before all the new players and now Sollux’s friends have a voice they can speak through to the main monitors. His actions almost feel like a mistake. Several of them won’t shut their never ending spew of words. Sollux doesn’t remember the last time he severely wished his loud-mouthed friend was here instead of him. Why does he have to be in charge? He doesn’t want to be in charge. Everyone is stupid and they’re going to get themselves killed and he doesn’t want that on his mind. He had simple tasks he promised to complete. Let’s look at the list.

1\. Make sure all his friends have been transferred to date to escape Tyrant. Check!

2\. Send data cube toward point of origin. Check!

3\. Oh shit, everything inside the game is on fire, let’s pause that. Check!

4\. Get help from aliens who made the thing in the first place...it’s in process.

5\. ???

6\. Shove all responsibilities to Karkat...also in process.

7\. ???

Sollux rubbed his head, even though he couldn’t really feel much of anything, old habits die hard. He started looking over the new health and ability cards from the new players. Oh. One of them is a Knight, just like Karkat. Sadly, none of them have the same aspect. Before he could think of asking Tavros about inverting his aspect again, everyone started yelling at the same time.

“There are monsters here!!”

“Don’t get near them! They’ll hurt you!”

“Kick their asses!”

“This is so not gucci.”

“Sollux. I have found my human.”

“Rustle my rompers! Someone shot at me! Oh nevermind! It seems they got a monster instead! Nevermind! They’re shooting at me again!”

Well, it looks like Feferi couldn’t get to Eridan in time. He began opening up communications to instruct the new players so that they could make their own weapons and also show them how the monsters worked, because the faster they got with the program, the faster, they could pause the villains again. However, his controls were suddenly frozen and he couldn’t do a thing.

“What the-!”

“Sollux, was it?” That’s Dirk’s voice again.

“What do you want, dickwad? I’m busy!” he tried regaining control again, but it was as if he was fighting three different viruses that might have been made by him judging by how competent the blocks were.

“Don’t bother, Roxy, Hal and I have got you frozen until you tell us how to save our friends.” Dirk said. Humans don’t seem to have the same vocal cords as trolls, but even Sollux could tell what was a threat/warning when he heard it. His screen showing the humans was now split into three windows. Roxy and Hal still sat at the main desk, while Dirk, Rose and John had turned their attention to the other computers in the room to get access to the worlds.

“Or else what? You’re going to keep me contained while everyone else is in DANGER?!” He managed to knock away two viruses like the professional coder he is, but they were quick to recover. “Damn it! My friends are in danger and kk will KILL me if any of them DIE!!”

“What does that matter when it is in fact one of your friends who is attacking one of ours!” Dirk snaps back.

The screen overlooking the humans unfreezes. Sollux got the pleasure of seeing all the displeased humans in worry and anger.

“If your friends are defeated here, they will return to your world.” That was Aradia’s voice.

“There you see! Your friends are safe, but the same thing won’t happen to my friends so let me help them!” Sollux was reaching the end of his rope.

“No. I want them back first.”

“There are monsters attacking EVERYONE. My friends--!”

“It doesn’t matter if they die, because they’re not real.”

That was Dirk’s voice but when they look at him in object horror, he shakes his head. “I didn’t say that.”

“But it wasn’t a strange thought to you.” Now that was Hal’s recognizable voice. “Because that is all you think about when it comes to artificial life, isn’t it?” Seems that Hal had also found a way to make his artificial voice sound threatening. Amazing what a little static and stilted pronunciation could do to a sentence.

Sollux’s screen was immediately unfrozen and he rushed to code a few rock walls to shelter a few of his friends. He sent messages to Tavros and Equius to assist the others and found the corrupted lands that allowed the monsters to roam free in the first place. Several of his friends had one-too-many close calls, if he had his organic body, he was sure he would have gotten at least three panic attacks. Even with the breakneck speed he worked with, Hal and Roxy caught up with him. Dirk eventually joined them by keeping his human friends in the loop of what they are able to destroy and how quickly.

The last corrupt world was Breath. By now they all caught onto the fact that eerily glowing pink, red and green, brambles of thorns. If you get too close to them, they automatically try to slash you to digital pieces.

Feferi and Jane managed to get there in time to meet with Kanaya and Jane to defend Tavros. Meanwhile Jake was still being chased by Eridan, while Equius uselessly tried to get them to stop. Their human douche in dark eye-wear was heading towards the Hope planet to yank Jake out of there. Nothing didn’t seem to be enough since two of the humans were destroyed by monsters and accidentally-on-purpose by Eridan.

“No!” Dirk stood from his seat.

“They should be back downstairs!” John said as he stood up to follow Dirk to the pod-like room. Dirk didn’t bother with the elevator and instead used the hatch that led to a ladder.

Whatever, they’re lucky they get their friends back, meanwhile, Eridan finally got his head out of his ass and figured that maybe he should go help Feferi with a hoard of monsters and corrupted land NOW. Sollux yelling about it to him might have gotten him to move a little faster. Their knight, Dave Strider, made an illegal U turn, but he is still too far away and it looks like Tavros would be next to get destroyed.

And was Sollux panicking? Yes. Yes he absolutely was. Even with him helping out, even with Feferi constantly healing everyone, even with Jade and Kanya destroying enemies and covering their asses, one of his friends was about to die!

A strong gale blew back most of the monsters, some even flew off the planet only to be destroyed through space. The monsters were still around, but they were fairly far away now. They had enough time and space to close down the origin of the infected land. Thank gog. “John! Is Jane okay?” Jade asked from the ground, since John had been hovering for his big entrance.

Great, another fucking show-off. Whatever, his friends were safe now so he could care less. “Yeah. But, she and Jake kind of feel sick after dying in this video game, so try not to die anyway?” He said as he descended. “Where is Dave? Dirk was freaking out and I promised to tell Dave that or something. I like your outfit by the way.”

“Thanks! I like it too!” Jade smiled and twirled a little to show off her witch outfit. “Kind of wish Dave were here to see it too.” She even saw fit to click her red shoes twice. With a comical pop of disturbed space, Dave appeared right in front of Jade. His outfit was in various shades of red, with a cape and the same symbol of time that Aradia's world held.

“Uh,” the eloquent cool guy said.

“Dave!” Jade smiled and hug-tackled him. “I’m glad you’re safe!”

The glasses guy patted her back quickly. “I’m glad I’m safe too.”

Their John friend laughed and tried to mess with Dave’s hair only for a second Dave to appear and grab John’s wrist.

“Not cool dude.” Before anyone could react, the very ignored virus-bramble-thorns, decided it was the perfect time to surprise attack everyone. Only Feferi and Dave managed to not get hit due to their quick reflexes. However instead of destroying them, the virus began to infect them.

“Oh fuck no!” Sollux knew exactly what to do and Hal backed hin up within the millisecond. Roxy helped with the missing pieces and a character was unlocked.

Knight of Blood: Karkat Vantas has been activated. Planet of Blood, Land of Pulse and Haze is destroyed. New save point in World of Breath and World of Time.

Karkat was still a short troll, with his nubs for horns barely poking out of his wild disaster hair barely helping his case. At least he took one look at the virus spreading on the humans and jumped right into action. The action being him taking out his sickles and severing the thorn branches from them both in a single move.

“Feferi!!” Well his voice was as loud as ever. And yet, Sollux felt more relief than he had in a long time, helped only by seeing Karkat and Feferi starting a FRAYMOTIF. They quickly combined their ability to remove the virus from everyone. The fraymotif ended and everyone destroyed the remaining thorn brambles. Everything went white.

Mission Complete: Clear the Brambles.

Unlocked new character  
Added new characters  
Added new Lands

Preparing Next Level.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise, i have a good reason for taking so long, but never fear. Even with two heartbreaks, taking up Pokemon Go, making maybe five new friends and posting a new video, I will not give up on this story!  
> Thank you for your comments! ^,^


End file.
